A lot of people are talking about Lent right now, especially in terms of giving things up to focus on their relationship with God. I’ve never participated in this process, but this year I was caught off guard by a question from God about it.
I have many teachers in my life, and I know I will have many more. I’ve had great teachers, terrible ones, and many who were somewhere in between the extremities. I think it’s interesting that some of the most impacting teachers in my life are people that many not even consider themselves teachers. They are those who walk with me, demonstrating through their lives what they are teaching me as they provide safe space for mistakes and new starts. They are not those who criticize, condemn and demand respect.
A friend and I were talking recently about how there are so many things in my walk as a believer in Christ that I don’t understand or don’t know. She was pointing out how grateful she is that we still have a rabbi, a teacher, in Jesus as He walks with us. We don’t have a God who has abandoned us to perform and figure it out on our own, but One who travels each step of the journey with us.
So often I notice that people want to proclaim how much they know, how wise they are. I find myself recognizing how little I know the older I get. I have actually been freed up in that revelation quite a lot, as I don’t have to have all the answers (or pretend I do!) when someone asks me a question. I remember my friend Mike Wells telling me that he had just received the answer to a question he had asked God 25 years before. My first thought was, “It took 25 years to get an answer?!” I was a bit disappointed in that news. But then I realized that meant I didn’t need to have all the answers right now, as God would bring the information I need in the time I need it. That’s a relief!
God of the messy and the inconsistent,
God of the distracted and ashamed,
God of the broken-hearted and grieving,
God of the discouraged and anxious—
Thank you as we start the year afresh,
We do not fear our own weakness or lack.
That we don’t have to pretend with you,
For you already know us inside and out.
Thank you for choosing to be the God of the messy.
Thank you for not expecting us to have it all together,
Or figured out or planned ahead.
Thank you for your patience in our failings and flaws.
In the work I do with pastoral counseling, we discuss the past and the way it has shaped our view of ourselves today, as well as our views of God. I do believe there is validity in doing this analysis to a degree, as it allows us to know why we do what we do presently, and also how to do something different as we move forward. So often we need to know the problem before we can allow God to heal the problem.
I do, however, believe that there is a limit to this, as continuing to go over and over the past ends up getting our eyes on the hurts and not on the way through. We must allow God to take the hurts of the past and replace it with our new identity. He has already done this, but we get to recognize how that plays out in our lives. Instead of continuing to believe we are worthless, shameful, unloved and unacceptable, we get to move into the reality that Jesus has made us worthy, shame-free, loved enormously, and acceptable completely. The more we focus on the past, the more stuck in it we become. So, it becomes a fine line between understanding the past and the effects on today and letting the past continue to control our present and future.
Mike Wells used to say that dwelling on the past and our pain for too long is incredibly boring. We get bored just over-analyzing all of it and getting nowhere. I want better, more and new. I don’t want to allow whoever hurt me to continue to control where I go now, both mentally and physically.
I have been intrigued by David and his life quite a lot this year, and have loved watching his emotion be expressed in so many of his psalms. He is angry, sad, depressed, confused—so many emotions we tend to stuff and pretend God doesn’t want to hear about. David is very honest about all of them, and I love that God receives it. The other thing I’ve noticed about David’s writings is how much He focuses on praising God, even in the middle of less than ideal circumstances.
This man had a rough life. He was running away from people who were trying to kill him often—sometimes they were enemy armies, and sometimes they were people who were supposed to be allies but betrayed him. His own son ended up making him run for his life. David made a lot of mistakes, and the Bible is very honest about too. We are never under any fantasies of David being perfect with a perfect life. But still he praised God, and thanked Him for His love and faithfulness.
I read recently that studies have shown that anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist in your brain. If we are focusing on gratitude and praising God, even in the middle of suffering and struggle, we don’t let the anxiety have the run of our brain. Praise actually becomes one of our greatest brain weapons. We are able, no matter the circumstance, to stop and praise God. We may not be thankful for the situation, but we can thank Him for His love and faithfulness just like David did. We may be in physical pain, in mental anguish or in emotional upheaval, but we can still worship Jesus and lift our spirits. I find it fascinating that Paul and Silas in Acts (***) were singing praise to God WHILE in prison. Yes, God busted them out, but they were singing before that happened!