The Life-altering Truth of Identity in Christ

The Life-altering Truth of Identity in Christ

Sometimes people question my slight obsession with teaching people to differentiate between lies and truth when it comes to identity messages. I am, indeed, very focused on doing this because I believe it makes such a difference in how you live life.

I think most of the identity messages we have received that really derail our lives are the negative ones like being a failure, unworthy, unloved, invisible, or rejected. These identity messages become part of who we really believe we are, most of the time because we are trying to get needs met in people when only God can really meet those basic needs. Some of these needs are love, acceptance, value and worth. When we go to a person or people to try to get satisfaction of these, we end up not getting what we wanted and often getting the opposite instead.

Of course, as humans we tend to go to humans first to try to have someone tell us we are ok, and to tell us who we are. When we get responses that are painful and rejecting, we tend to believe them and try to prove them wrong or fix ourselves so we don’t believe they are really true. Unfortunately, though, people are never going to be able to really give us unconditional love, true acceptance, and a communication of worth like we desire deeply. When we realize this, we can actually go to Jesus to get the truth and change our perspective and our source for life.

Imagination

Imagination

Sometimes we treat our imaginations as if they are bad and evil, instead of recognizing they are part of the transformation to a new creation and new Life in Christ the same as every other part of us. I think this leads us to shunning the very creativity and amazingness that God has created us to have, and one of the most useful tools in finding peace.

Imagination as defined by Oxford Languages is “the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses” or “the ability of the mind to be creative or resourceful.”

The focus of our imagination is definitely important, and even with a redeemed imagination we can focus on things that don’t really suit us as new creations. But Isaiah talks below about allowing our imaginations to be consumed by God, which allows us to be surrounded in perfect, absolute peace and trust God.

So, if we want peace and trust, we must allow our imaginations to be focused on Him. Have you ever imagined the compassionate, powerful Jesus sitting in front of you for a chat? Have you ever imagined the Father’s glorious throne to which we are invited to come any time boldly? Have you ever imagined Holy Spirit breathing comfort and counsel deeply into the atmosphere surrounding you so that it infuses you and allows you to sleep?

An Invitation to Relationship

An Invitation to Relationship

Many people tell me that they aren’t doing enough for God, which really means they don’t think they are working hard enough to make Him happy. I find this so demoralizing and discouraging, as everyone also has a different standard for what “enough” really looks like. We get weary, burned out and frustrated as the standard seems to keep moving depending on who sets it for us. A lot of religious people would love to set that expectation—maybe it looks like giving money, or helping the less fortunate, or being a pastor or giving your life as a martyr. But I don’t think we get the order right when we make this the priority.

All ministry, I believe, must come FROM relationship with Jesus, not IN ORDER TO get closer to or appease Him. We get the order wrong when we believe we can earn His acceptance, and we end up working for something we already have. Jesus has already brought us in, given us worth and told us we are loved and accepted. We didn’t have to do anything to try to earn that, and when we try to do it after the fact, it leaves us trying to live the Christian life without the power to do so.

God’s standard is how Jesus lived on the earth—everything He did came out of relationship with His Father, and nothing was more important than that Source. When we try to live like Jesus did, we make it impossible by removing the source and believing we can achieve that on our own. Instead, we can continue to live with Jesus and with God’s power being the spring from which all of the work we do begins.

The Greatest Rabbi

The Greatest Rabbi

I have many teachers in my life, and I know I will have many more. I’ve had great teachers, terrible ones, and many who were somewhere in between the extremities. I think it’s interesting that some of the most impacting teachers in my life are people that many not even consider themselves teachers. They are those who walk with me, demonstrating through their lives what they are teaching me as they provide safe space for mistakes and new starts. They are not those who criticize, condemn and demand respect.

A friend and I were talking recently about how there are so many things in my walk as a believer in Christ that I don’t understand or don’t know. She was pointing out how grateful she is that we still have a rabbi, a teacher, in Jesus as He walks with us. We don’t have a God who has abandoned us to perform and figure it out on our own, but One who travels each step of the journey with us.

So often I notice that people want to proclaim how much they know, how wise they are. I find myself recognizing how little I know the older I get. I have actually been freed up in that revelation quite a lot, as I don’t have to have all the answers (or pretend I do!) when someone asks me a question. I remember my friend Mike Wells telling me that he had just received the answer to a question he had asked God 25 years before. My first thought was, “It took 25 years to get an answer?!” I was a bit disappointed in that news. But then I realized that meant I didn’t need to have all the answers right now, as God would bring the information I need in the time I need it. That’s a relief!

Hope is a Warrior

“People speak of hope as if it is this delicate, ephemeral thing made of whispers and spider’s webs. It’s not. Hope has dirt on her face, blood on her knuckles, the grit of the cobblestones in her hair, and just spat out a tooth as she rises for another go.”

(I read this great quote on Instagram the other day that was reposted by someone else, originally by Matthew @CrowsFault.)

What a picture! So often we treat hope as if it is a concept that is rather silly and fantastical. We want something that seems more realistic, more tangible— but I don’t think these concepts of hope are true at all.

This last couple of weeks for me I have witnessed this picture of hope as it does battle with discouragement and despair. My daughter fell and broke both her wrists at basketball practice. She is such a fighter, and yet has days when she is sad about not being able to finish the season, about all she can’t do, about missing out on things because she is in pain or unable. But I have watched her fight through this to find hope, rising up to try again.

At the same time, a sweet friend has been fighting to recover from a brain event that has left her dependent on a walker to move and struggling through regaining function in much of her body. This picture of hope is exactly what I see when I think of this friend, fighting for her very life, rising up after a beat-down but trusting God to get her through and restore hope.

I don’t think having hope is ever easy. That’s one of the reasons I love working with the people I do, who choose to have hope after and during so much pain. It is a testimony to me that hope is a battle, an all-out fight to maintain trust and dependence on Jesus, while looking away from all that wants to pull us down to misery. It’s not pretty, lazy or what we expected it to look like. But hope pulls us through to fight again.

Hope is a warrior who leads us on into battle with a war cry echoing off the walls of despair. Hope storms in and demands that discouragement let go and leave us alone. Hope reminds us that we have a God, and we don’t have to be brave enough on our own. Hope helps us up off the ground, dusts us off and sends us back in with the strength of Jesus coursing through our veins.

That’s why Romans 5 (see below) talks about finding hope THROUGH pressures, not when things are easy. We don’t have to figure out how to do this ourselves, but instead simply look to the love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us—that’s where hope is found. And hope is not a disappointing fantasy, but a supernatural power that allows us to look to the future without fear for we know God is with us.

But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is no disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us! Romans 5:3-5

God of the Messy

God of the Messy

God of the messy and the inconsistent,
God of the distracted and ashamed,
God of the broken-hearted and grieving,
God of the discouraged and anxious— 

Thank you as we start the year afresh,
We do not fear our own weakness or lack.
That we don’t have to pretend with you,
For you already know us inside and out. 

Thank you for choosing to be the God of the messy.
Thank you for not expecting us to have it all together,
Or figured out or planned ahead.
Thank you for your patience in our failings and flaws. 

Out With the Old, In With the New

Out With the Old, In With the New

In the work I do with pastoral counseling, we discuss the past and the way it has shaped our view of ourselves today, as well as our views of God. I do believe there is validity in doing this analysis to a degree, as it allows us to know why we do what we do presently, and also how to do something different as we move forward. So often we need to know the problem before we can allow God to heal the problem.

I do, however, believe that there is a limit to this, as continuing to go over and over the past ends up getting our eyes on the hurts and not on the way through. We must allow God to take the hurts of the past and replace it with our new identity. He has already done this, but we get to recognize how that plays out in our lives. Instead of continuing to believe we are worthless, shameful, unloved and unacceptable, we get to move into the reality that Jesus has made us worthy, shame-free, loved enormously, and acceptable completely. The more we focus on the past, the more stuck in it we become. So, it becomes a fine line between understanding the past and the effects on today and letting the past continue to control our present and future.

Mike Wells used to say that dwelling on the past and our pain for too long is incredibly boring. We get bored just over-analyzing all of it and getting nowhere. I want better, more and new. I don’t want to allow whoever hurt me to continue to control where I go now, both mentally and physically.

Praise and Anxiety

Praise and Anxiety

I have been intrigued by David and his life quite a lot this year, and have loved watching his emotion be expressed in so many of his psalms. He is angry, sad, depressed, confused—so many emotions we tend to stuff and pretend God doesn’t want to hear about. David is very honest about all of them, and I love that God receives it. The other thing I’ve noticed about David’s writings is how much He focuses on praising God, even in the middle of less than ideal circumstances.

This man had a rough life. He was running away from people who were trying to kill him often—sometimes they were enemy armies, and sometimes they were people who were supposed to be allies but betrayed him. His own son ended up making him run for his life. David made a lot of mistakes, and the Bible is very honest about too. We are never under any fantasies of David being perfect with a perfect life. But still he praised God, and thanked Him for His love and faithfulness.

I read recently that studies have shown that anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist in your brain. If we are focusing on gratitude and praising God, even in the middle of suffering and struggle, we don’t let the anxiety have the run of our brain. Praise actually becomes one of our greatest brain weapons. We are able, no matter the circumstance, to stop and praise God. We may not be thankful for the situation, but we can thank Him for His love and faithfulness just like David did. We may be in physical pain, in mental anguish or in emotional upheaval, but we can still worship Jesus and lift our spirits. I find it fascinating that Paul and Silas in Acts (***) were singing praise to God WHILE in prison. Yes, God busted them out, but they were singing before that happened!

Faithfulness Even Still

Faithfulness Even Still

My friends in Haiti are isolated from the world again after the gangs fired on a commercial plane and the airport was closed this week. They were ousted from their homes for over a year while fighting raged around them and they went into hiding. They have shown up for teen and preteen kids who are watching their friends die, and who are still healing from their pasts. I am so blown away by their faithfulness.

I speak to several woman who are raising kids while dealing with debilitating illness and chronic pain in themselves. They show up for their families in the ways they can while desperately surviving their own health journeys. I know they often feel like they are failing, like they can’t do what other moms can do. But I stand in awe of their faithfulness to keep showing up.

The Wilderness

The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

Why I Choose Jesus

Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Walking Like a Superhero

Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted

Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

The Powerful Force of Hope

The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

Joy in Times of Trouble

Joy in Times of Trouble

I have noticed in my own life that I will look at circumstances as “bad” or “good” depending on the outcome and how I feel about it. Especially recently, though, I have been challenged to look for the good in every situation—to find God in it. This doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily happy or comfortable in whatever is surrounding me, but I want to push through that discomfort to see what God has for me. I do believe there is always beauty that He can bring from ashes, that He is always bringing good even out of really yucky stuff. This doesn’t mean that He causes the yucky stuff or that we change the suffering by positive thinking, and I think that’s sometimes where we get tripped up. We don’t believe a god of love could watch us go through difficult things because that’s not loving—but perhaps the most loving thing to do is to allow the difficult things but still to bring hope and joy in the middle.

I just finished reading The Watchmaker’s Daughter, a newer book about Corrie ten Boom’s life during and after World War 2. If you know me, you know that Corrie is one of my heroes, so a new book about her life was right up my alley. One of the themes that comes through repeatedly is the way the ten Boom family all tried to find joy and hope in extremely dire situations. Whether hiding Jews and working with the underground, enduring prison, or dealing with the torture and horrific conditions in a concentration camp, they all realized their relationship with God got them through and allowed them to see the good in terrible situations. Her sister Betsie, who died while in the concentration camp, told her sister Corrie that people would listen to them because they had been through such awful conditions. And the message was clear—no matter how deep and dark the pit in which they found themselves, God’s love was deeper still and carried them through. Corrie went on to travel the world speaking about forgiveness and God’s love, and she had earned her place to do so as she worked with communities who were forsaken and abandoned by all other help.

The Cocoon

The Cocoon

One of the most fascinating things I’ve learned in the last few years is the process of a caterpillar in a cocoon. I had always thought of the couple of weeks a caterpillar spends there as a little nap while their body sprouts wings, and that is the furthest thing from the truth.

After eating copious amounts of leaves and growing to the maximum, a caterpillar forms a cocoon around themselves in order to become a butterfly. Once inside, the caterpillar literally splits its skin apart, and then its own digestive juices digest and liquefy its body. Inside the cocoon, it is just goo—nothing remains of its old structure other than the liquefied, digested slime. Then, the cells reform as an entirely new being.

When the butterfly finally works its way out of the cocoon, it has been completely transformed in what has to be one of the ickiest processes. It comes out beautiful, but, man, did it ever go through it to get there!

Dismissing Distractions

Dismissing Distractions

Every day a thousand things clamor for our attention, yelling to us about how important they are. Almost everyone in our lives are happy to tell us what should matter to us, what our focus should be. We can so easily live distracted, which also means we live exhausted as we get judged from every side about what should be our primary focus and how to make it so.

I have been rejected and beat up by religious people more than nonreligious. I know it’s because they have decided that the religion they hold is what’s saving them, what’s making God happy and they are terrified I’m doing it wrong. I have often said (as my mentor and friend Mike Wells taught me to do) that I will say things that are wrong, even downright blasphemy. God will allow this because He wants to draw people to Himself, not to follow me. It also keeps me in a place where I know my weakness, and I know I need Holy Spirit to interpret the very words that come out my mouth or my laptop.  He is the great interpreter, and He is able to translate and speak through whatever is said to bring His message to the person.

I will be the first to state that I can get it wrong, and I never want to stand up as someone who has all the answers. Because I don’t. All I have to offer is Jesus—a Life who gently invades our hearts and heals us from brokenness. I don’t want to get distracted by whatever program or theology someone has decided is preeminent. I want to be the person with the one-stringed banjo who keeps playing that one string over and over, because it’s the only string that matters to me. There are days often where people accuse me of being affiliated with all sorts of broken people. Isn’t that funny? We are all broken, but have arguments about who is more broken and judge and condemn others to try to make ourselves feel superior.

Freedom in Love

Freedom in Love

Especially around holidays like July 4th in the United States, I think of all the sacrifices that have been made over the years for our freedom to do all the things we are able to do. No, the United States is not perfect, but we do enjoy much freedom that so many other countries do not. I get teary often as I think of others laying down their lives for complete strangers to them. I could never deserve or earn that gift. This thought always leads me to an even bigger sacrifice of love in which God engaged to free us from slavery to sin and death.

I was reading Titus (which I honestly haven’t read in quite a long time) and found this gem of a few verses that stood out. Apparently this is believed to be a part of an early church hymn or poem, and it sums up the story so beautifully.

When the extraordinary compassion of God our Savior and his overpowering love suddenly appeared in person as the brightness of a dawning day, he came to save us. Not because of any virtuous deed that we have done but only because of his extravagant mercy. He saved us, resurrecting us through the washing of rebirth. We are made completely new by the Holy Spirit, whom he splashed over us richly by Jesus, the Messiah, our Life Giver. So as a gift of his love, and since we are faultless—innocent before his face—we can now become heirs of all things, all because of an overflowing hope of eternal life. How true and faithful is this message! Titus 3:4-8

In this passage, the whole Trinity—Father, Son and Spirit—are involved in this great rescue plan. I love that this idea was birthed in extraordinary compassion and overpowering love. This was not motivated by guilt or fear or duty. God wanted relationship with us, and that love reached out to save us, no matter what that cost.

We can’t deserve or earn this sacrifice because we can’t be virtuous enough to earn it. Instead, He had extravagant mercy and saved us, birthing us again as a new creation (2 Cor 5:17). We have been made new, and are being made new. I think this refers to the renewing of the mind and sanctifying us that happens by the Holy Spirit’s work in us. We are new creations through Christ’s sacrifice and blood, and now we are constantly being freed from sin’s effects and control through the Holy Spirit’s constant splashing on us.

Doing the Hard Thing

Doing the Hard Thing

Watching my kids play sports has been so educational for me. I am incredibly proud of them for working through failure, for staying humble and for showing up again and again when they really don’t feel like it. It’s hard to watch them deal with frustration and disappointment, but I realize it’s also so important for them to learn to work through these feelings. I also see how often this is a testimony to me in my own hard things.

The temptation often when we are in a hard place is to believe either it’s our fault (so we are being punished) or it means we should quit and do an easier thing.

The truth is that sometimes we do make stupid decisions and deal with the consequences of those, but even in those choices we can know God and move into His power to deal with whatever hard things are part of our lives. Blaming ourselves or someone else doesn’t make the difficult situations easier—and often just makes us bitter and angry.

Birds and Pavers

Birds and Pavers

One of my favorite parts of summer mornings is sitting out on our back patio with my coffee before my kids get up, enjoying the bird songs and the smell of the flowers as they bloom. This particular morning, however, was a bit different because they had decided to repave the street that runs behind our house past the neighbors’ houses. The only thing I could hear or enjoy this morning was big rumbling trucks and beeping pavers, while the smell of asphalt permeated the air. I was less than impressed. I am grateful for the road refreshing, but couldn’t hear any birds or smell the flowers that I usually so enjoy.

As I sat there, I suddenly realized that the birds were still there, and still singing, but it was hard to make out their songs because of all the mechanical noise. I originally thought they were all gone—headed to somewhere more peaceful and less noisy. I could just barely make out a few songs, though, and was surprised to hear them. And I thought about how often distraction and confusion are the greatest tools of the enemy (along with shame of course) as they make us believe that maybe God has left.

When there are big, smelly, loud problems in our lives, it’s very easy to focus on them and feel as if hope and joy have gone. Anything from financial stress to health problems to relationship issues can be the things that demand our attention in the worst possible way—being louder in our heads and more all-consuming than anything else. I’m not for a minute arguing that they aren’t big, smelly and loud. That’s why they are so distracting. But I do want to fight for focus as I listen for the bird songs and get up close to the flowers so I don’t forget how they smell.

The truth of God’s presence is still there, but sometimes it’s really hard to see or hear Him. Sometimes it feels like we are surrounded by yucky things and are staring down the path of scary, awful futures. It’s in those times that I most need to refocus and ask for the ability to see and hear Jesus standing with me. He never leaves, but I can convince myself that He does. He never checks out, but I can feel as though He probably should. He never gives up on us, but I can give you all the reasons He really ought to.