anxiety

God of the Storm

God of the Storm

We had a crazy windstorm last week with almost 24 hours of intense wind gusts and the resulting damages—trees falling, fences knocked down, various lawn chairs and trampolines blown away. I’ve never been through a hurricane on the coast, and I realized what people talk about with the sheer noise wind can create. My husband had to wear earplugs to sleep, and the howling and crashing went on all night.

At some point during the night, I woke up and listened to the wind for a bit while lying in bed. It dawned on me that this was what the disciples felt when they were out in the boat with Jesus, except they were on a boat tossed by the waves rather than a warm bed in a safe house. I imagined the fear and panic that would govern in a situation like that. They were pretty sure they were going to die out there in that storm.

Jesus had been teaching about faith prior to this story told in Mark 4. When the storm comes up, he is SLEEPING. This makes no sense to us when we don’t realize that God is enough in a storm, but Jesus knew His Father was watching out for Him and didn’t need to worry or stress about anything.

Being a Snail

Being a Snail

I have been thinking about how cool it is that we take a safe place with us no matter where we go. We are similar to snails—they carry their home on their backs, ready to pull into a shell whenever things get scary. The difference is that our safe place is within, and we can access it any time without physically moving. God no longer dwells in a temple made with hands, but in His people. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) He has given us His Spirit, and His very Life within.  

We are in Christ, and Christ is in us. We contain the wrap-around presence of God within us all the time. It’s kind of a cool picture, isn’t it? We carry Him, and He wraps around us and shelters us as well. So many things with God’s kingdom are both/and. His Life is in us, and we are in Him.

Simple & Humble

Simple & Humble

So many things over the last few months have felt complicated, stressful and downright scary. I find some humor in the fact that the answers God keeps giving me about each of these situations is very similar—keep it simple. I’m grateful He doesn’t add the “stupid” as some do, but He does remind me repeatedly that trying to figure out a way through these things on my own is only going to bring more headaches.

I don’t generally even pray for a word of the year as some do, but there is always a theme that starts to rise above the rest towards the end of one year into the beginning of the next. I welcome it now, as I realize God is giving me some insight into what He is growing in me. I love that this isn’t a task I’m supposed to complete or a lesson I’m supposed to learn well and check off. Instead, it is what His Life in me is going to achieve and guide me in to as we walk together.

Simplicity, I have noticed, is related to humility. If I feel I must know the way ahead and I can handle it on my own, I end up making things more complicated every time. Humility means that I recognize my lack of ability, and then faith allows me to rely completely on God’s ability within me. Corrie ten Boom said, “It is not my ability, but my response to God’s ability, that counts.”

Peace in Trouble

Peace in Trouble

When my friend Mike Wells was alive, he traveled a ridiculous amount of time every year all around the world. He encountered problems with planes, baggage, car travel, reservations and all sorts of other things as he was going to visit people. He used to call this being “Wells’ed” as it meant that unusual problems would be encountered constantly for himself and those who traveled with him. I have adopted this phrase for myself, and now call it being “Morrell’ed”. It’s not something you want to happen to you, let me tell you!

This last weekend we hosted our women’s retreat in Golden, Colorado, and there were plenty of examples of getting “Morrell’ed” as things seem to go wrong at every turn. The hotel messed up the booking entirely, and so didn’t have rooms for any of the ladies upon arrival on Friday (but did have some for Sunday which we did not need). You can imagine how fun it was to get that phone call Friday afternoon, only hours before everyone was supposed to be descending on this hotel, telling me they did not have any rooms. They rebooked us in rooms at a different hotel, and provided shuttles for those who didn’t have cars to go back and forth from the sleeping rooms to the original hotel for the meetings.

Right after we checked into the replacement hotel, my mom called me from her room, saying the bathroom door had fallen off the hinge, missed hitting her by inches, and fell down in front of her door to the hallway, blocking her exit. I ran downstairs to get the hotel employees to come get her out of her room, and thanked God profoundly that the bathroom door had not fallen on my mom and knocked her out.

Power Over Fear

Power Over Fear

I have spoken to many people recently who are dealing with fear, especially as world circumstances get crazy again. I, for one, often get stuck living in my own little peaceful bubble until that bubble gets popped by one thing or another. Then, it’s very easy for fear to take over. I remember when COVID started, standing in the middle of a grocery aisle trying to get air through a mask while I looked at empty shelf after empty shelf. The fear of not having enough was suffocating. These days, I can watch the news and have the same fear rise up in me, watching as people are murdered, tortured, raped, bombed. I ache with sadness for the loss, and run through all the worst-case scenarios of what is next.

I realized during COVID that I have no idea how to prepare for things, and it better be up to my kind Father to prepare me. Who would have thought that people would have been fighting for toilet paper? We often believe, though, that fear somehow prepares us for the unknown. Yet, it actually does nothing to make us ready.

God obviously knows we will struggle with fear, as He addresses it over and over throughout the Bible. Fear can be the most strangling distraction, as we obsess on so many things of which we can be afraid.

Peace & Courage

Peace & Courage

We talk about peace a lot around Christmas. The Bible mentions peace even more often. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. Peace is something that Jesus leaves with us. Peace is something that might not make sense as it surpasses all understanding.

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous! John 14:27

I believe Jesus left peace with us by leaving us Himself. Peace is not the absence of conflict or suffering, but a person. When I am in relationship with God (in other words, acknowledging His presence), I have peace. No matter what else is going on around me, I can have peace.

So often we want peace to be when everything is going “right” and we are enjoying green meadows and bubbling brooks. Even when we are surrounded by craziness, though, we can have peace because we always have Jesus. He promises to never leave us.

He Holds My Hand

He Holds My Hand

If your week looks anything like mine, you are running a little ragged. Yours might feel better or worse, but regardless there are so many days that I wake up telling God how I don’t have what I need for today at all. I don’t know how to do it. I can’t possibly have the strength or time to do it. I don’t even want to do it.

Sometimes the way ahead feels completely impossible. The mountain in front of you looks insurmountable. The feelings around you threaten to drown you, and you are convinced that there is no other way but to live in anxiety and constant hypervigilance.

I will tell you what God has been telling me. Not because I understand it completely, but because it is most comforting when you are facing a life that seems impossible.

Worry and Imagination

Worry and Imagination

I don’t mean to brag, but I’m amazingly good at imagining worst-case scenarios. I can stay up all night, daydream (can they be called day-nightmares instead?) and obsess on all the brutal possibilities. My focus can be completely consumed with what I think will help prepare me emotionally if those things were to happen.

But the reality is that none of this imagining actually prepares me for a bad situation. Instead, it steals any joy I could have in the moment today, and it puts my physical body in a place where it responds as if the problem is really happening. That steals more energy from my current place, as well as putting me in a stressful, reactive state physically.

I recently read a quote by Dan Zadra: “Worry is the misuse of imagination.” I think we forget that imagination has been redeemed as well as the rest of us by Jesus. Instead of using imagination to worry, fret or stew about the worst-case scenarios, what if we allowed it to be used by the Spirit in the way He created it to be?

God's Remedy for Fear

God's Remedy for Fear

Fear in our society has gone from being an obsession in our own private minds to a constant surrounding presence. Everywhere we look, someone is calling out another problem that should cause us to be afraid. Sometimes I feel like a pinball, bouncing from one thing to the next about which I am supposed to get worked up and live in constant fear. In fact, the prevailing opinion seems to be that if you do not live in anxiety all the time, something is wrong with you or you are being ignorant.

I find it interesting that God focuses on fear so much in the Bible. I have heard it said that some form of “do not be afraid” is in the Bible 365 times. I believe, though, that God always provides a different way. It is not just a condemnation of fear so that we man-handle ourselves into judgement so we don’t fear. Instead, God tells us don’t fear, instead pray, trust, believe. He gives us something to put our energy toward rather than just telling us not to be afraid.

I was looking at a few of the more common fears today, and looking at God’s remedy for each of them. I want to move past just telling myself not to be afraid and understand the way in which God has provided an escape or a safe place to deal with the fear.

One fear that is a struggle for many of us is the fear of inadequacy. What if we walk around our daily lives constantly feeling as though we are not enough. I hear a lot of people try to combat this feeling with a recitation that they are, in fact, enough. I don’t find this entirely helpful, though, as just saying something doesn’t make it true or believable. Instead, I think we have to push into the weakness, real or imagined, and admit where we are.

How Finding Praise Gives Us Freedom

How Finding Praise Gives Us Freedom

Now, I know that I’m getting some eyerolls before you even start reading. Great, you say, here’s another person telling me to be thankful in my terrible circumstance. Just give me a chance, though, to help illustrate what I mean. I know that many of us have situations that are downright awful, and we can’t see how God is loving us in the middle of them. That’s why focus is so important, because if we lose sight of His love, we lose hope. And without hope, there’s no way ahead.

I realize this is a bold statement, but every day I talk to people who are dealing with hard things, and I haven’t met one who doesn’t have some reason to be thankful and recognize God’s love in their lives.

Yes, it’s a challenge some days, but I think so often we put effort into anxiety for the future or regret over the past, and we miss the power of praising God in the present. I love what Ann Voskamp says: “No amount of regret changes the past, no amount of anxiety changes the future, and any amount of gratitude changes the present. Any amount of gratitude changes the present and wins back some ground—even for one very small thing.”

When we choose to focus on praising God in the middle of our mess, we are free. Free to see past the thing trying to distract us and steal all our focus. Free to see a future and a hope where maybe others might not see. Free to pursue a relationship with Jesus and know Him in a deeper way no matter the surroundings. Free to walk in a way that the situation doesn’t define us.

When You Are Limping Instead of Running

When You Are Limping Instead of Running

Some days I run with passionate endurance.
Some days I walk with a limp.
The pressing on and finishing well
Can seem never-ending.
The fight could really just stop.
I don’t want to face the enemy—
I’d rather just hide.
Needing a break from it all.

That’s when I must push deep into rest,
Not sleep or taking a nap.
But pursuing quiet in the middle of the busyness,
Soaking in my time sitting at Jesus’ feet.
I come away from the distractions of life
To refocus instead on the outstretched hand,
Beckoning me to come to Him
And allow Him to restore my soul.

Walking in Dependence

Walking in Dependence

My son and I were talking yesterday and I watched him finally confront the sadness that he had kept at bay for the last couple of weeks. He was sad he wasn’t going back to school for the foreseeable future, that he wouldn’t get to enjoy days with his great teacher and friends. And he asked me how long the sickness was going to last. And I don’t know. So, we talked about how we do hard things, and find the joy in them. And we talked about how it’s okay to be sad and miss things, and then also okay to enjoy the day in the way we could.

The reactions from many of the people I work with in counseling have been similar—how do we do this season when everything has been uprooted and made raw?

I was thinking through practical tools I’ve been giving people, which I will talk about later in this post. But first, God reminded me this morning we do this season of life just like we do every other season--in dependence on Jesus. Every morning we can wake up knowing that the day is too big for us, and ask Him to be all we need for it. That hasn’t changed with the magnitude of the situation, or the radical difference many of us feel in our lives. God hasn’t changed. He is still more than enough for all the pieces of our lives, even the ones that look like pandemic, shelter-at-home and remote everything.

God's Blessing

God's Blessing

A friend of mine gave me the Passion translation of Genesis that just was released, and I was struck immediately in the introduction by something that was said about blessing. Genesis is full of talk of God’s blessing, and yet I realized I had a bad definition of blessing. I had always thought of it as the “good stuff” like riches, power, freedom, etc. You know, sort of like the opposite of a curse. 

Sacred in the Mundane

Sacred in the Mundane

I need the revelation of the sacred in the mundane, the extraordinary in the everyday and the supernatural in the earthly sameness. I forget so easily, and go about my day with crazy drivers and bickering kids and toilets to clean. Maybe for you it’s the emptiness or sadness or stillness rather than the busy.

Light in the Darkness

Light in the Darkness

Sometimes the darkness feels so scary and bleak. The unknown staring at us makes us feel as if we will never get through, and even if we do, we might hate what’s on the other side. Sometimes the pain seems too much, the loss too great. We feel alone, discouraged and filled with anxiety.