Do you ever feel that life is a constant comparison of your efforts with the standard, and you are found wanting? It’s like piling the measures of your life on your chest, one after another, hoping that at least one of them will read “Success” and you can feel like you made it. What is the measure of your life? Sometimes my to-do list is the worst taskmaster. I don’t get to play with my kids, talk with my husband or read a book in the hammock because my list of tasks is staring me down, reminding me I haven’t finished yet. And the ridiculous thing is I made the list! But I choose to listen to its demanding voice over the voice of what really matters. This doesn’t mean I don’t get anything done throughout the day, but it does mean I get to choose to put the list in the drawer at various times, and enjoy my people and my life.The list is not my definition of success.Sometimes the scale and mirror try to tell me how to live my life. I remember there were days in college when I would spend hours just trying to get ready to leave the house, never achieving the “enough” point in being presentable to the rest of the world. I’ve obsessed on the flaws, the numbers on the scale moving in the direction I didn’t want. There’s nothing wrong with being healthy and valuing fitness or care in appearance, but when you become a slave to these things—there’s a problem.The scale and mirror are not my definition of success.Sometimes I want to define my success by achievements, financial success or “responsible” living. I want to point my finger at someone who is less in any of these departments as determined by some unknown standard. And the comparison is intended to help me feel better about my own achievements, finances and responsibility. Or I beat up on myself for not doing enough with any of it. I want to motivate myself to do better in all these areas, thinking that will finally make me feel worthy of…love?Achievements, financial success or responsible living are not my definition of success.My image and the way others see myself or my family is sometimes what I want to use to say I’m worthwhile. Whether it be the way I help people or the good behavior my kids display or the way I keep up my home, I want to toe the line and make everyone else do this also so that we look “good” to others. This hurts my family as much as me, as I try to manipulate or cover up things to make us look like a successful family. It’s all a scheme to try to hold up the pretty cover I’ve created to hide my yucky stuff behind. And my family doesn’t get to be who they are, but must conform to some stuffy caricature.My image or the image of my family are not my definition of success.You can fill in the blank with so many other things we try to use as a standard to measure our lives—and most of the time, we are lacking. So we work harder, try new things, really invest in all of this so that we can finally decide that we are a success. And yet, we fail and exhaust ourselves at the same time.So, then, how do you measure your life? What is God’s determination of success? “I am a true sprouting vine, and the farmer who tends the vine is my Father. He cares for the branches connected to me by lifting and propping up the fruitless branches and pruning every fruitful branch to yield a greater harvest. The words I have spoken over you have already cleansed you. So you must remain in life-union with me, for I remain in life-union with you. For as a branch severed from the vine will not bear fruit, so your life will be fruitless unless you live your life intimately joined to mine. (John 15:1-5 The Passion)I would venture to say that God’s definition of success is being in relationship with Him. For out of that relationship, flows all the obedience, love, compassion, everthing! Remaining in life-union with Jesus, abiding in Jesus—these provide the source for success in God’s kingdom. So, in coming back to Him (as many times a day as we can, as He never tires of us needing Him) is how we find worth. We get to realize over and over that we are already made worthy and loved and successful in Jesus. We don’t need to go anywhere to find that success, or work harder or prove ourselves somehow. We get to rest.Anytime you feel the pull of comparison or the overshadowing taskmaster of something in your life telling you that you will only be worth something if you follow that road, remember none of these define you. Come back to your Father and hear from Him about your worth as His beloved child.Success is defined by Jesus' love for you. In Him, you are successful.
How Do You Measure Success?