Unfortunately in a lot of Christian communities, the emphasis is on guilt. We are told that we are supposed to feel really guilty all the time in order to get our act cleaned up, and to keep wallowing in the guilt so we don’t fall back into bad behaviors.
My friend and teacher Mike Wells used to differentiate between false guilt and true guilt, and I think it’s a concept that many have not considered because they almost equate God and guilt together. True guilt is the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit that what you are doing or have done doesn’t suit you as a new creation in Christ—this is the guilt that leads to repentance. We admit the problem, turn away and move forward in Him. Any guilt that comes after that initial repentance is false guilt.
Many of us haven’t considered the impact that false guilt has had on our lives. We apologize over and over because of false guilt and the feeling that we must keep prostrating ourselves to a human to make up for what we’ve done. Or we decide we deserve something difficult that’s happened because we are to blame for something.
This is not biblical. This is not of God. Instead, it leaves us in a constant spiral of shame, guilt, remorse and obsession.
Here’s what God says about it:
So now the case is closed. There remains no accusing voice of condemnation against those who are joined in life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One. Romans 8:1
There is not a bit of condemnation that is left at your feet. Quit going to try to get some. We do not stand in guilt and allow it to motivate us. Guilt as a motivation will only achieve more disconnection with the God who has proclaimed over us that we are no longer under any sort of condemnation. We are not standing accused.
What does it look like to turn away from guilt and walk instead in the life-union with Jesus? It means that the instant I feel the guilty feelings, I submit those to the Holy Spirit to check in and be controlled by nothing other than Him. It means that if I feel motivated to try to fix, manipulate or coerce people to be ok with me because of the guilt I feel, I must put this down and walk away. It is not my job to make everybody happy with me, and it is an impossible task anyway.
Now, what about when I do mess up? I listen quickly to the gentle touch of the Holy Spirit as He shows this mess up to me, go apologize if it’s a wrong against someone else, and move on to focus back on Him and His Life within. I do not obsess on trying to prevent it from happening again because that is just my flesh trying to control flesh. Instead, I get to remember that the old man is dead and I am no longer controlled by it unless I choose to walk according to the flesh. And I get to choose to walk instead in the Life of Jesus who has transformed me and taken all the guilt away.
Do not allow yourself to be controlled by guilt, but instead come back to the truth of God’s message when He says that there is no condemnation for you who are joined in life-union with Jesus. And walk forward a free person.