One of the most often repeated lies people share with me in terms of what they think about themselves is that they are worthless. This has been communicated to them by various people in their lives, or by their own definition time and time again. Sometimes they feel they should be at a different place in their lives and that would give worth. Sometimes they believe if they had worked hard enough to make people like them that this would give them worth. Sometimes they have been told that their only worth lies in their being used for whatever purpose the user desires, and that they will lose worth if they stop allowing someone to use them.
Worth is not transactional. It is not given when we earn it. A person doesn’t gain worth the more they achieve, relate to others, or give. Some people try to convince themselves they have worth, but it is usually based in something they have to believe about themselves. When someone communicates they are not worth their time, the façade is gone and we struggle to believe we have worth apart from what others communicate.
When we experience rejection while trying to find someone to communicate worth, any sense of having worth is obliterated as we have placed the definition on a person or place in this world. It is gut-wrenching, and feels like death.
1 Peter 2:7 tells us that as believers we are now standing in the preciousness and worth of Jesus. We did not earn it, deserve it or prove that we should have it. Instead, Jesus’ worth is transferred or imparted to us. Isn’t that crazy? You are precious to God. He doesn’t see you as lacking, sinful or unvalued. Instead, He places incredibly worth on you, and sees you with value.
This preciousness that God has imparted means we will not be put to shame, not disappointed. I was reading recently something Katherine Wolf in her new book “Treasures in the Darkness” wrote about how sometimes our definition of goodness needed to change. She said:
“God was not merely withholding a good life from me, it seemed; He was taking my good life away from me. I would wrestle with this tension for years, both for myself and for everyone else living lives the world would call anything but “good.” Then my definition of good was turned upside down when I read the words of sixteenth-century theologian Sir Richard Baker. ‘The good things of God,’ he wrote, ‘are chiefly Peace of conscience, and joy in the Holy Ghost, in this life; Fruition of God’s Presence, and Vision of his blessed Face, in the next.’ Because I can’t resist alliteration, I’ve come up with a snappy way to remember Baker’s meaning: ‘The truly good things in life are God’s peace, presence, and provision in the process.’ (Treasures in the Dark, by Katherine Wolf, pg 14)
I think sometimes our expectations need to change as well, as we will never be disappointed when we expect that God will continue to love us, be faithful to us and do it His way in His time. When we have expectations that He will do things in the way we plan for Him, or in the time we dictate, we will often be in a place of needing to change our minds and our expectations.
You have worth and value—it has been given by Jesus Himself in His impartation of His preciousness to you. You can’t do anything to lose it, and you can’t earn it to maintain it. This worth is based on Jesus, so there’s no change or devaluation possible. You are precious—a priceless treasure.
Look! I lay a cornerstone in Zion, a chosen and priceless stone! And whoever believes in him will certainly not be disappointed. As believers you know his great worth—indeed, his preciousness is imparted to you. 1 Peter 1:6-7a