Today was a day for unexpected confrontations. Some from other people, and some of my own stuff. I drove over to the thrift store donation drop-off to take some things recently purged from my house. As I got out and popped my trunk, the man who was receiving the donations started in on me. He complained that the stuff wasn’t separated according to the system he used (of which I was not aware), that he had to be in the sun for longer because of that, and that he had to get me a receipt. I stood dumbfounded as he heaped on the complaints, only offering a weak suggestion that since they were donations, maybe he could be more understanding. I figured since I was giving them freely and it was his job to separate them, maybe he would recognize his error and back off. He did not. I finally got back in my car and drove away while he continued to grumble.
I thought I’d tackle the bank next, surely finding a more welcoming place there. The woman working the drive-through left to go somewhere for a long while, and was incredibly offended when I finally rang the call bell to inquire about my deposit after she had been out of sight for ten minutes. Strike two.
So, the grocery store was next. I just needed a birthday card and figured it would be an easy errand. As I was leaving with my purchase, a man rolled his cart out of the service desk line with such force it almost hit me. I dodged it and looked at him with questions all over my face. He was too busy yelling at the service desk lady about needing an ID for something and how ridiculous it was to even notice that he’d almost hit me. I just hurried out of the store and went to the safety of my car.
I sat there contemplating the lack of kindness and humility I had experienced that day, and suddenly God reminded me of a conversation I had with a woman on the phone a few days ago. She was customer service for a trampoline place for kids nearby, and she was being ridiculous. I could not get the one thing fixed I needed fixed which was a problem that had been created by their own staff. And I lost it. I was shaking I was so mad by the end of the conversation. And why? Because I might be out $50.
No, the process of customer service at this place doesn’t work like it should, and they could probably use some real training in a number of areas. But that doesn’t mean I have to go on a rampage with the poor woman on the other line. I have done customer service, retail work and food service, so usually the lashing out for poor service is the last resort for me. I get how stressful it is to work in those environments, and that most of the time the problem isn’t the fault of the person standing in front of me. But I wanted justice! And I had spent money at this place so I deserved a higher level of respect! Blah, blah, blah.
I don’t get it right all the time, as proven by this last example especially. But I believe the reason God brought this instance to mind was to bring me back to Him. I have to acknowledge that I can’t do ANYTHING without His empowerment. I can’t walk into a grocery store, drop off donations, go to the bank, talk to customer service or any other mundane part of my life without being reminded of how much I need Him. He is the One I look to when I’m being mistreated in this way, and He reminds me that He is enough love for the unlovable. He is enough kindness for the unkind. He is enough humility for the proud. I can admit my weakness, and acknowledge His strength.
In this admission of my weakness and acceptance of His strength, I find peace and rest even as I go about all of my usual daily functions. I don’t need to prove myself to anybody, but can instead rest in already being worthy, based on His definition of me. I don’t have to try to be strong enough, but can peacefully acknowledge my weakness, and rejoice in it as I see it as the perfect opportunity for His strength to be manifested.
Instead of looking at these instances as defining moments of a bad day, I came to see them as invitations to come back to my Source. I forget easily and march through life thinking I know what I’m doing. And God is faithful to remind me that I need Him, and then provides everything for those very instances that seem to derail me.
You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity. Let your heart be always guided by the peace of the Anointed One, who called you to peace as part of his one body. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15