Stories of Hope
Hannah Morrell
Rediscovering Joy Through God's Loving Gaze, by ...

I never expected joy to be something I would have to go searching for. I grew up hearing that Christians should be joyful, that joy was something you choose, that joy was the proof that God was near. But somewhere along the way, joy became a word that didn’t feel connected to my actual life. I tried to smile, tried to be grateful, tried to be strong — but inside there was a quiet ache I couldn’t name.

This book was born out of that ache. Out of years of striving. Out of carrying shame without knowing that’s what it was. Out of feeling unseen, overwhelmed, and unsure of how to “choose joy” when everything inside me felt too tired to rise.

But then God met me in a way I didn’t expect — not with instruction, not with pressure, not with disappointment — but with a tender, lifting hand. With a voice that whispered, “Look up… let Me hold your face… let My delight be the truth you see.” It broke something open in me — something I didn’t even realize was still bracing for disappointment, still hiding behind downward eyes, still afraid to be seen.

Rediscovering Joy Through God's Loving Gaze, by an Anonymous Counselee
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Hannah Morrell
The Sacrifice of Trust as Worship

A lot of things have not gone the way I hoped or expected this week, and I found myself frustrated and stressed. Usually when I have those emotions, it’s because I have decided I need to control a situation and I’m realizing that I can’t. I was talking to God about all of it, pouring out my worries, my fears and my feelings with all of it. His response has been similar with many things recently—Do you trust me?

I realize that often I don’t. Trust can actually be a sacrifice, as I’m laying down my plans, my way, my time and my illusion of control in order to receive His peace. What I want is an answer, a solution. But often what He invites me into is placing all of my cares in His hands as He tenderly cares for me. This is trust.

What He began to show me this week is how trusting is part of worship. It is saying that He is God and I am not. It is saying that I trust Him to be who He says He is, and to empower me to be who He made me to be as well. As we walk forward in sorting through the practical problems, we do it together. He never abandons me to just figure it out on my own. I do have to lay down my own way of doing things, though, for the better way He has.

The Sacrifice of Trust as Worship
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Hannah Morrell
Learning Contentment

I have been thinking about how Paul talks about “learning” contentment and being “trained” in the secret of overcoming all things in Philippians 4:11-13. Sometimes I have some sense that I’m supposed to just know how to be content, and then there is much self-criticism when I’m not. But I like Paul’s take on it—we get to learn contentment.

How do we learn it? By being trained in seeing things differently. Jesus keeps reminding us of who He is, His strength and power within us to accomplish anything. He also reminds us of who He has made us to be—conquerors in Him. But we don’t see these truths often when we are covered up by fear, worry, doubt and general discontentment with our lives.

I recently learned the meaning of the word “yadah” in Hebrew. The word means “give thanks” but not in a trite, flippant way. It implies the thrusting of hands up in worship, and is often used when people in the Old Testament are in the middle of a mess. Jonah uses it when in the belly of the whale, David when in danger, and others when they have not seen the victory or deliverance yet. There is a sacrifice that comes with praise, especially when you don’t feel like praising God in the middle of the difficulty.

Learning Contentment
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Hannah Morrell
Being Needy

I was having a moment last week where I finally cried out, saying “I’m so needy!” And God’s response was so gentle—I love needy people.

Dependence is never criticized when it comes to relationship with God. He loves it when we walk in dependence and trust in Him. Sometimes we make ourselves needy for other people or circumstances to change, but this doesn’t bring the desired result. Other people won’t be able to meet our needs, and change in circumstances is only temporary. Instead, we can come to Him when we are weary, heavy-laden and desperate.

He will not receive us with disappointment as we might expect. Instead, He welcomes us with open arms and holds us close to infuse us with rest and peace. God loves to bring us close when we will let Him do so.

Being Needy
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Hannah Morrell
God of the Last Minute

God of the last minute, the rushed, the unplanned.
Thank you that you don’t get stressed.
You aren’t wondering how to get through.
You see the whole, and yet know we see only the part. 

Thank you for your patience with me
As I freak out a little and wonder why.
Thank you that you’re always ready
For me to run to your everlasting arms. 

Thank you that I haven’t messed it up--
I know I don’t have that much power.
That you are always bringing reversals
When we least expect or hope for them. 

Life from death, hope from despair,
Flowers from ashes, joy from pain,
Peace from chaos, freedom from chains,
A Shepherd in the valley of the shadow of death. 

God of the Last Minute

weakness

God of the Messy

God of the Messy

God of the messy and the inconsistent,
God of the distracted and ashamed,
God of the broken-hearted and grieving,
God of the discouraged and anxious— 

Thank you as we start the year afresh,
We do not fear our own weakness or lack.
That we don’t have to pretend with you,
For you already know us inside and out. 

Thank you for choosing to be the God of the messy.
Thank you for not expecting us to have it all together,
Or figured out or planned ahead.
Thank you for your patience in our failings and flaws. 

God's Promises

God's Promises

Do you ever have days where you feel like everything gets really heavy and hard? You might go from feeling like you are totally in step with Jesus and taking on the world, and suddenly you slam into a wall of your inadequacy, your unbelief or your questions. It happened so quickly you have whiplash as you try to steady yourself but can’t seem to find balance.

I was feeling that way last weekend. I felt all the pressures of preparing to share with women at the upcoming retreat, the uncertainty of book publishing, the frustration of not knowing how to help some of the people I was talking to in counseling. It all just compounded into a big, dark cloud that swallowed me up.

Monday morning (after wallowing most of the weekend in all the yuck), I was driving back from dropping my daughter at school. In front of me was a giant wall of dark grey clouds threatening rain and storms to come. And suddenly, I saw the most brilliant rainbow cutting right through the blackest part of the cloud. This rainbow extended from the top of the mountain I could see all the way up through the storm clouds in colors that laughed at the darkness.

Strength in Weakness

Strength in Weakness

I had a dream this week that has stayed with me as a comfort and encouragement. In the dream, I was a little girl standing in a giant cave with lots of people milling around. To get out of the cave, I had to climb a steep dirt slope, and I was exhausted. I flopped down on the ground, giving up any chance of ascending. A big, burly man walked up behind me, and lifted me up into his arms gently. After adjusting my weight a little, he started to climb the path out of the cave. Upon reaching the top of the slope, he gently laid me down on the ground. I didn’t even have the energy to acknowledge my gratitude for his help, but simply rolled over to go to sleep right in the middle of the dirt. My favorite part of the dream was that the man chuckled softly, tickled that I would just go right to sleep there.

As I have thought more about this, I keep getting more and more insight into what God tells us in His being our strength in weakness. We don’t have to know how to ask for help, or even be able to. God knows we need help before we do sometimes! Some of the very things that seem like they will be the end of us are an incredibly great portal for His strength to be displayed in us. We don’t need to be afraid of those weaknesses or hide them. Instead, we glorify our kind Father as He lifts us up through them.

Divine Strength

Divine Strength

Honestly, I am not always excited when God brings the theme of the coming year for me as I pray on it in December. It is almost never something I expect (or frankly, want) and I sometimes get a bit nervous about how He’s going to bring it forth over the next year.

So, with the upcoming year when the word is “strength” I really wanted to ask for a different one! Ha! Why? Well, strength sounds nice, and in fact, it’s often what we work towards. We want to strengthen our physical bodies, our minds, our spirits, our hearts. We try self-help programs, workouts, a variety of methods to strengthen ourselves, thinking that one day we will be able to look at ourselves with admiration.

I find, though, that God’s view on strength is different. You see, divine strength is what God is going to give us, not necessarily an increase in fleshly strength. He doesn’t want the flesh to get stronger because He knows that’s bad for us. Instead, He wants us to grow more and more dependent on Him for supernatural strength that only comes through Him.

Weakness is a Gift

Weakness is a Gift

I write and talk about weakness quite a lot, probably because I’m a fairly independent woman who doesn’t like to admit any lack. God is faithful to teach me a lot about it because I don’t want to learn! Generally, when I feel weak, I either try to cover it up and make it look fine, or I run away from whatever it is and decide I can’t do it. Interestingly enough, that is not what God asks us to do with weakness.

I am beginning to see that places of weakness or inability are actually gifts. I know, it sounds strange, right? But these places are where we most find and see the power of Jesus within. It’s sort of like a very thin spot in a piece of fabric—it has been worn to more fully show what is beneath it. I generally throw away clothes that get that level of holes in them, but what God says is to invite Him to show through all the cracks and holes of our lives.

When I see the spots where my patience is wearing thin, or I have no compassion left for someone, or I am just too weary to handle one more burden, this is where I can most experience God’s power because I’m not trying to do something for Him. I have begun to anticipate these times with joy, because after I get done with pondering my self-help plan for making myself stronger, I can then instead turn to God spiritually and ask Him for help. He never turns me down! He’s been waiting this whole time for my request.

Never Surrender!

Never Surrender!

I always find it interesting to read about the battles where one side is overwhelmed with unimaginable odds, and yet chooses not to surrender. Growing up in Texas, the Alamo was one of those we heard about a lot. In this tiny mission-turned-fortress, about 200 soldiers fighting for independent Texas held off thousands of Mexican soldiers in order to provide time for the larger army to later defeat the Mexican army at the battle of San Jacinto. The odds were ridiculous, but the Texans did not surrender.

I can’t imagine the fear that must have been going through the hearts of people in these kind of battles. They know somewhere deep inside that they are completely outnumbered and will probably die. But they count it worthwhile to stay, hoping that the outcome later will be worth their lives. They choose not to surrender, to fear or to the approaching army.

It stirs my heart to read about these brave people, and it reminds me that I also don’t want to choose to surrender, except to the One who is my victory. I don’t want to surrender to hopelessness that tells me I will never see the change for which I’m praying, or the end of a season of pain. I don’t want to surrender to fear that makes me obsess on the worst case scenarios and attempt to prevent and control outcomes I can’t see a way through. I don’t want to surrender to emotional or physical pain that tells me I will never have healing or relief, draining my life of hope for the future. I don’t to surrender to my weakness which repeats the same refrain over and over—you can’t, you aren’t enough, you will never make it. I don’t want to surrender to my anger and feel controlled and tossed around like being on a choppy ocean.

Weakness as a Portal

Weakness as a Portal

I spoke to a woman the other day who told me she couldn’t be good enough to make God happy. And I told her I couldn’t either! I am happy to tell people about my failings and missteps because I don’t believe we are loved by God because we have a pretty image or façade. I also don’t believe that God is hoping we are strong enough to live the Christian life on our own. Instead, He offers His strength, wisdom, power, patience, and everything else to us in return for us to give up our efforts and our attempts to be good or to make Him happy.

I love what Paul says about rejoicing in weakness. He doesn’t say that he really likes his weakness necessarily, but rather than in his weakness, he was able to sense more deeply the power of Christ living in him. Paul saw weakness not as a disappointment to God, but rather a portal to His power! That’s a bit of a different take, isn’t it?

So often we obsess on getting it all right, whether the standard be God’s, other peoples’ or our own. Yet, God’s standard is automatically derailed when we realize He never meant for us to live in a pleasing way to Him without His power allowing us to achieve that. When we start from that point, we realize that the standard isn’t really important—it’s the relationship. Isn’t that what we want with everyone? I don’t want someone living up to my standard for them. I want relationship with them!

Falling Into God

Falling Into God

I watched an interesting video recently of billionaire business owner, Sara Blakely, talking about her father’s raising her to welcome failure. Every night when his kids got back from school and they gathered around the dinner table, he would ask each of them how they had failed that day, and celebrate it! He wanted them to fail because that meant they were trying new things and not just staying in their comfort zone. Sara continues to do this with her own company employees today, having meetings where she asks them how they have failed and learned something new. 

Are Bad Days Really Invitations?

Are Bad Days Really Invitations?

Today was a day for unexpected confrontations. Some from other people, and some of my own stuff. I drove over to the thrift store donation drop-off to take some things recently purged from my house. As I got out and popped my trunk, the man who was receiving the donations started in on me. He complained that the stuff wasn’t separated according to the system he used (of which I was not aware), that he had to be in the sun for longer because of that, and that he had to get me a receipt. I stood dumbfounded as he heaped on the complaints, only offering a weak suggestion that since they were donations, maybe he could be more understanding. I figured since I was giving them freely and it was his job to separate them, maybe he would recognize his error and back off. He did not. I finally got back in my car and drove away while he continued to grumble. 

Baby Steps

Baby Steps

There was a movie many years ago called “What About Bob?” in which the two main characters are a psychiatrist and patient. The patient proceeds to drive the psychiatrist totally crazy by following his “baby steps” right into chasing the therapist down on vacation. The idea of baby steps for everything—small movements or decisions in life that add up to bigger strides to a goal—were supposed to help Bob (the patient) to overcome some of his anxiety. As funny as that movie was about the whole thing, there is something to be said for baby-stepping your way through life.

Floating not Drowning

Floating not Drowning

Sometimes it feels like drowning.Like the abyss is swallowing you up.Sometimes your feet find no foundationAnd your mind wanders in frantic search.The waves threaten to cover youLeaving no trace of life behindThe fear seems to choke youAs you wait for a rescue that seems far away.

How Do You Find the Strength for Today?

How Do You Find the Strength for Today?

This morning, so many people woke up and couldn’t dream up the strength to get out of bed.  I can think of ones who face chronic pain and illness, ones who woke to support loved ones at yet another doctor’s appointment, ones who see an uncertain future for a rocky relationship, ones who approach what seems like an insurmountable obstacle.

Why Would Anyone Listen to Me?

Why Would Anyone Listen to Me?

"Why would anyone listen to me? I’m a late-30’s chick who hasn’t experienced everything in life, doesn’t have all the answers and can’t fix anyone." That’s what flashes through my mind anytime someone tells me that God has spoken to them through me. But isn’t that the coolest thing? I have Jesus living in me, and Jesus has been tried in every way, is the Way and can give new Life!

You Want Me To Do What, God?

You Want Me To Do What, God?

 I was reading this morning about when Saul (the guy who liked pulling Christians out of their homes and carting them off to jail) comes face to face with Jesus on the road (Acts 9). He’s headed to do more damage and is very determined to stamp out this crazy faction of Jesus followers. The Christians would have been terrified to see him coming.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus