Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

church

Expecting the Unexpected

Expecting the Unexpected

Have you ever noticed how backwards Jesus’ way of doing life is compared to how most of our cultures and worldviews communicate it should be? The first shall be last. The foolish will confound the wise. Weakness is required for strength.

I love how when Jesus walked the earth, He did everything in a way that was unexpected. He didn’t come as a war hero who was going to break off the rule of Rome from Israel, but rather a humble baby who grew up to work as a carpenter and then travel as a poor teacher. He didn’t lead a conquering army into Jerusalem but rode a donkey and submitted to death on purpose. Jesus didn’t brush shoulders with the religious elite, but instead went to find the hurting, the sick, the demon-possessed, the lost and the rejected. His followers were not great minds or incredibly pious people, but fisherman, tax collectors, prostitutes, and those who belonged to a disrespected class.

Isn’t it interesting, then, that so many who claim Jesus as Lord seek wealth, power over others, status and use manipulation, spiritual abuse and evil to try to gain it? This was never His way and continues to be an affront to His Life when His name is claimed in this awfulness.

The most impacting people in my life have not been the showy, “important” spiritual leaders, but rather those who lead in humility, with love and grace extended over and over. One of these was a pastor who just died, and in remembering him and his kindness to me, I was amazed at the tenderness God displays to us through people who are willing to be humble and go where He sends them. This pastor was willing to lead a tiny church of rejects who met in the basement of a coffee shop each week, and teach that messy bunch to do family and Church in a way we had never experienced before. He wasn’t famous, or rich or leading the helm of a powerful group of people. This man saw people as they were, not as they were posturing to be, and offered kindness. He was called to a humble walk, and did it with eagerness.

The Church

The Church

For many years, I treated the church as if it was a form of torture. I wanted nothing to do with people who oozed with the “churchiness” that I loathed. I held myself in arrogance over those who were found in church as if they were to be pitied and despised.

Slowly and gradually, the tender kindness of God has changed that perspective. He has shown me that my despising others was not of Him, but rather out of my own insecurity.

I don’t want to hold up theology and beat others with it, forgetting love.

I don’t want to have to agree with someone in order to love them.

I don’t want to assume that I hold the image of God alone, but instead seeing it reflected in many different ways throughout the body of Christ.

I don’t want to condemn others when God Himself has stated there is no condemnation. (Rom 8:1)

I want to see people with God’s eyes, past their behavior and their posturing to their heart.

My friend and mentor Mike Wells used to say that anytime we move from the center of the wheel down a spoke to the edge, we are missing out. Anytime we require a program, a way of thinking, a behavior ahead of Christ, we have moved from the center of the wheel. It must be Jesus first and Jesus only. He is our Life, and we can’t find that in productivity or moral living. We are not supposed to be generating our “pleasing-ness” to God. He has already made us pleasing in making us a new creation. We need only live in that.

The Deception of Being Alone

The Deception of Being Alone

My daughter hates to be in one part of the house by herself while we are in the other part. She doesn’t want to go upstairs or to the basement alone, even if we stand at the stairs and remind her that we are present and not leaving.

I have friends who, during this stay-at-home season, are suffering through all by themselves. They are isolated in an apartment, have lost their jobs and are trying to find ways to entertain themselves and keep busy.

Sometimes even when we live with others and have good connections, we can feel alone. I was struggling with that feeling recently—feeling that I was slugging it out all by myself. Everyone else seemed to have a team or an ally in their work, and then there was me. I suppose some of that comes with working in a one-woman nonprofit ministry. But God started showing me that the idea that I am alone in this battle was a deception.

Carrying Others' Burdens

Carrying Others' Burdens

We had a beautiful women’s retreat this last weekend, full of fellowship and freedom as we recognized that we have everything we need for the Christian life already within us in Christ’s Life. One of the things we talked about was how we sometimes feel the need to carry the burdens of others. We feel we must carry the burdens of our family, our friends, our coworkers, our kids and so many others. 

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus