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Hannah Morrell
Faithfulness Even Still

My friends in Haiti are isolated from the world again after the gangs fired on a commercial plane and the airport was closed this week. They were ousted from their homes for over a year while fighting raged around them and they went into hiding. They have shown up for teen and preteen kids who are watching their friends die, and who are still healing from their pasts. I am so blown away by their faithfulness.

I speak to several woman who are raising kids while dealing with debilitating illness and chronic pain in themselves. They show up for their families in the ways they can while desperately surviving their own health journeys. I know they often feel like they are failing, like they can’t do what other moms can do. But I stand in awe of their faithfulness to keep showing up.

Faithfulness Even Still
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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted

love

God's Love

God's Love

God loves you. That phrase has gotten trite and feels shallow sometimes. And yet, it is anything but trite and shallow. While we hated, mocked, spat on Him, God loves us. While we ran from Him and fought any call of His to come to Him, God loves us. While we rebelled and invited more and more darkness into ourselves, God loves us. While the selfishness took over to distort us into maniacal narcissists, God loves us. While we postured in false humility and rode ego trips for our “good” deeds, God loves us.

God reached through the darkness with which we had surrounded ourselves, calling our names and extending His hand to pull us out of the pit. We didn’t know Him, but He knew us. He knew every bit of us and still chose to love us. He loved us to death, and to resurrection in power. Jesus walked the road of ultimate sacrifice, knowing what was in each of us and how we chose our own way. He looked past it and loved anyway. He never stops loving. We simply need to accept the love.

In Christ

In Christ

In Christ, I am safe and protected.

In Christ, I am loved completely without pretense or meeting a standard.

In Christ, I have worth bestowed on me through sacrifice.

In Christ, I am a new creation.

In Christ, I am not controlled by sin or evil.

In Christ, I have power to live the impossible Christian life.

In Christ, I am complete and whole, lacking in nothing.

In Christ, I have all my needs met, physical, emotional and spiritual.

The Poison of Religion

The Poison of Religion

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that a book needed to be written about the injustices and crimes committed by those who claimed to know God, so that we could show the differences between those whose hearts are actually God’s, and those who claim any sort of power that will allow them to abuse and manipulate. I am not planning to write that book, but I have been thinking a lot about the poison of religion when it claims to know God or speak for Him while doing the opposite of His character. 

It is interesting how often Jesus criticizes the religious hierarchy in His teaching in the Gospels. He calls them out for beating people down with rules and laws while breaking them, or not acting in love toward any of their people. He sees the hypocrisy of their behavior as they postured greatness but really acted as criminals in religious clothing.

This story has been repeated throughout the ages since Jesus, but they have taken on His name and claimed His message of salvation. They go without grace, without love and without real Life to offer anyone. They hurt, destroy, abuse, kill, manipulate, and break people as they go. People who equate God’s name or message with these individuals or organizations are, understandably, horrified, and want nothing to do with God the rest of their lives because of the pain they have caused.

Don't Let Worry Be My Bread

Don't Let Worry Be My Bread

Don’t let worry be my bread today,
But let me, instead, feast on the delights of your love and faithfulness.
Take the care and burdens that weigh me down,
Leaving the lightness and the relief of freedom.
Pull the fires of rejection from my heart
Quenching them with Your tears and compassion for me.

Dismiss the distractions and confusion that fill my brain,
Replacing them with focus and peace no matter what is going on around me.
Take the cursing and the spewing that fill my mouth,
Giving blessing and hallelujah that only come from you.
Remove the discouragement and hopelessness,
Putting courage in me, restoring my soul with hope and sweetness in You.

God's Loving Pursuit

God's Loving Pursuit

One of the tenderest ways I see God love us is in His pursuit of us, never giving up even when we run away with all our might. This isn’t an aggressive pursuit to push us into doing something, but rather He waits for us to be at a point to receive His love. He is always close, waiting for us to yield to the amazing love He wants to give us.

He leaves the 99 sheep to find the one. He seeks out the lost coin, the lost treasure to restore it to its proper place. He pursues the ones who feel themselves to be too much, too broken, too lost. I picture Him as running next to us, not chasing us down, but reminding us that He is always available and waiting for the turn to Him.

Sometimes it isn’t until we are lying on the ground in exhaustion, panting to inhale any breath of air we can get, that we finally look up and realize He has never left. We may be too tired to care, but our hearts shift when we see that He does not abandon.

Fear and the Shepherd

Fear and the Shepherd

I’m afraid of so many things. Small, cramped spaces. Sending my kids to school. Rejection. Being left out. Home invasions. Doing or saying the wrong thing. Hurting someone. The list goes on and on. If I allow it to, fear can totally dictate every choice in my life, and keep me from so many things because of what might happen.

Something I’ve been learning, though, is that fear is a choice. Yes, some of us have trauma or training that would have us tend toward that choice. But we can slowly retrain that part of our brain that wants us to live in fear, and begin the process of becoming free.

I was reading Psalm 23 the other day and had a revelation—we can either follow fear or the Shepherd in decisions, but not both. It’s either attempting to protect ourselves and those around us (which really boils down to control), or entrusting ourselves and those we love to the Shepherd. We struggle with this because we have this illusion of control—we think we can control circumstances or people. But the reality is this is an illusion, and we are spinning our wheels trying to do something we have no actual power to do.

We have to recognize this lack of control and power, I think, before we are willing to trust the Shepherd. I have to acknowledge that I can’t protect myself or my family from every harm, that I can’t always avoid elevators or caves, that I can’t be likable enough to avoid all rejection or being left out, that I will hurt someone whether I mean to or not, and that I will definitely say the wrong thing sometimes. Usually when we start to get a glimpse of this, we shut down again and turn a blind eye—working harder to try to control something of which we have no actual control. However, we can also move into entrusting these worries and fears to the Shepherd.

Loving Without Agenda

Loving Without Agenda

One of the most important things that Mike Wells ever told me was that success or failure wasn’t up to me, so I shouldn’t wear it. Every year that goes by, more and more of what that means is revealed to me. Most recently, I have realized that whenever I get weary with my work, it is because I have determined my worth by how people react or change.

Don’t get me wrong—it is amazing when God does a work in someone and they come back from the depression, anxiety, addictions or whatever the dark place has been for them. I see it often, and I love to be a part of the incredible work Jesus does in these people’s lives.

But then there are some who don’t seem to be moving. That can be so tough for me, but only when I determine my ministry by the outcome.

God hasn’t called me to fix people. He hasn’t called me to have incredible outcomes of being the catalyst for change in many lives. He has called me to love people. I love them through counseling and discipleship. But whether or not I love them is not determined by them achieving certain standards or even going the right direction as I see it.

You Are Precious

You Are Precious

Beloved. Friend. Son or daughter. Not just someone to be used for a need He has. Perhaps we can’t understand who we are until we start to see what He has given us. What He sees when He looks at us.

He sees someone for whom He sacrificed everything because He considered us worth having relationship with. He sees none of the mistakes or failures as definition of us, but only sees the worth He has bestowed on us. Something is only worth what people will pay for it. I heard recently about a piece of virtual art that sold for over $60 million. Why? Because someone decided it had value enough to pay a crazy amount of money for it. And God has decided that your worth is valued at such a high price that He was willing to sacrifice His Son, and Jesus was willing to sacrifice Himself.

And this wasn’t just a one-time thing. He gives us His life, whether we treat it with respect or not. He is with us in everything we do or think. And I want to know—what are you communicating about what you think about your worth when you do what you do? That’s not a condemnation, but so many of us act as if we are hated, despised, spat on, worthless, devalued, dirty, and disappointing.

The Dance of Relationship

The Dance of Relationship

I’ve been reading Tim Keller’s book, The Reason for God recently. I was struck by what he wrote about the Trinity. He says:

The life of the Trinity is characterized not by self-centeredness but by mutually self-giving love. When we delight and serve someone else, we enter into a dynamic orbit around him or her, we center on the interests and desires of the other. That creates a dance, particularly if there are three persons, each of whom moves around the other two. So it is, the Bible tells us. Each of the divine persons centers upon the others. None demands that the others revolve around him. Each voluntarily circles the other two, pouring love, delight, and adoration into them. Each person of the Trinity loves, adores, defers to, and rejoices in the others. That creates a dynamic, pulsating dance of joy and love.

He continues on to say that we are happiest when we are dancing, or in relationship, with the Trinity of God, as we are created for this—to be an extension of this beautiful relationship between Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

When we are enjoying this relationship and focused on God, we can enjoy the dance, and also reach out to others to come join us. I think the trouble comes when we believe we have to start our own dance, with people surrounding us who will make us feel happy. We are created to be in relationship, but the foundation of that must be our relationship with God or we will be tossed around and disappointed. I think that’s why so often we get incredibly hurt and rejected by people—because we have put them in a place in our lives that only He can hold.

The Weed of Fear

The Weed of Fear

I have a vine in my backyard that seems to be a parasite that can’t be stopped . I know I talk a lot about The Vine (Jesus in John 15:5), but this isn’t that kind of vine.

I first found evidence of it coming through the fence from my neighbor’s back yard into mine. I just cut off the branches coming through the fence, and thought I had it sorted. I found more a bit further into the yard, and started to wonder. Finally, some popped up right in the middle of my raised garden bed, meaning it had gone through the weed guard and all the soil and come up right in the middle of my vegetables.

This meant war. I started pulling the vine out, and it kept going. And going. I pulled up the weed guard a little to look underneath, and realized there was an immense system of vines growing all under it like it was a comfortable blanket rather than a method of keeping weeds out. I found it clear across on the other side of the yard, which means this vine system is now growing throughout my entire yard, underneath everything and lying in wait for whatever plant it can take over while I’m not watching.

Now, I realize I make it sound quite menacing, but honestly, this plant is trying to take over! But it got me thinking about the small things we allow to grow under the surface of our lives without checking them at the fence, and as they slowly spread and choke the life out of everything we have tended so carefully, we can wonder how they could have gotten there.

Fear Doesn't Get To Be Your Boss

Fear Doesn't Get To Be Your Boss

Anybody else make decisions throughout their day struggling with fear? Could be anything from fear of death to fear of missing out, and everything in between. But fear becomes the boss of you. It tells you how to live and what to avoid. It makes you believe you are controlling your life by obeying it. But any control given to you by fear is an illusion.

So, if God doesn’t give you the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7-8), how do you take fear out of the driver’s seat?

Carrying Others' Burdens

Carrying Others' Burdens

We had a beautiful women’s retreat this last weekend, full of fellowship and freedom as we recognized that we have everything we need for the Christian life already within us in Christ’s Life. One of the things we talked about was how we sometimes feel the need to carry the burdens of others. We feel we must carry the burdens of our family, our friends, our coworkers, our kids and so many others. 

Letting Go of Perfection in Favor of Love

Letting Go of Perfection in Favor of Love

This morning I realized one minute before we walked out the door for school drop-off that it’s 50’s day at school. And I have nothing to make my son look “50’s” at all. He tried to be gracious about it, and for that I’m thankful. But his disappointed look made me run smack into the wall of my own desire for perfectionism in all things. My standard for myself was not met. 

Addiction to Acceptance and Pleasing People

Addiction to Acceptance and Pleasing People

Of the many topics I can write about in this blog, this one made me cringe more than most. I am so grateful for the freedom God has brought me in some areas of my own addiction to pleasing others (or at least trying really hard to do so). But the way we learn to be free from this is to have people not be happy with us, or to be in a place where we can’t get acceptance no matter what we do. And as an expert people-pleaser, this meant that I had to be rejected a lot before I was willing to even entertain the idea that I needed to get my acceptance from only one being in my life—Jesus.

Trying to Play God in the Circumstances of Life

Trying to Play God in the Circumstances of Life

A few days ago, I got caught in the funk of the “always” and “never” statements in my life. I started thinking that I would always be in this place, and circumstances will never be change. It is pretty discouraging when you start thinking this way, and often we don’t realize we are trying to play God in our own lives.

Because He First Loved Us

Because He First Loved Us

I don’t know about you, but I often forget the incredible pursuit of the love of God. I forget that He reached out to us while we hated Him, while we were sinners—our filthy rags of “righteousness” and of outright rebellion all mixed together in a mess and even still He did not turn away. He walked right into that mess and declared Himself victor as He willingly laid down His Life.

The Condemnation and Freedom of the Love Passage: A Different Perspective on 1 Corinthians 13

The Condemnation and Freedom of the Love Passage: A Different Perspective on 1 Corinthians 13

I remember the reading of 1 Corinthians 13 in church or elsewhere as the one that made me feel most wanting. Here are all the things you are supposed to do to be loving, and I could see my failures in every place. I’m not patient. I’m not kind. I keep records of wrongs. I’m jealous. I don’t believe the best about people. I’m irritated. I’m offended. I delight in wrong sometimes. I give up on people.

Recognizing the Flowers and Giving Thanks

Recognizing the Flowers and Giving Thanks

We did a birthday party for my son this last weekend. A bunch of his friends came over and did a Nerf gun war in the backyard in childhood bliss. I was talking with my son later that night and he totally shocked me by leaning over for a hug and saying, “Thanks for the fun party, Mom.” More often than not, my kids complain about what they don’t have rather than being thankful for what they do. And (who am I kidding here?) so do I.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus