Many people tell me that they aren’t doing enough for God, which really means they don’t think they are working hard enough to make Him happy. I find this so demoralizing and discouraging, as everyone also has a different standard for what “enough” really looks like. We get weary, burned out and frustrated as the standard seems to keep moving depending on who sets it for us. A lot of religious people would love to set that expectation—maybe it looks like giving money, or helping the less fortunate, or being a pastor or giving your life as a martyr. But I don’t think we get the order right when we make this the priority.
All ministry, I believe, must come FROM relationship with Jesus, not IN ORDER TO get closer to or appease Him. We get the order wrong when we believe we can earn His acceptance, and we end up working for something we already have. Jesus has already brought us in, given us worth and told us we are loved and accepted. We didn’t have to do anything to try to earn that, and when we try to do it after the fact, it leaves us trying to live the Christian life without the power to do so.
God’s standard is how Jesus lived on the earth—everything He did came out of relationship with His Father, and nothing was more important than that Source. When we try to live like Jesus did, we make it impossible by removing the source and believing we can achieve that on our own. Instead, we can continue to live with Jesus and with God’s power being the spring from which all of the work we do begins.
I have many teachers in my life, and I know I will have many more. I’ve had great teachers, terrible ones, and many who were somewhere in between the extremities. I think it’s interesting that some of the most impacting teachers in my life are people that many not even consider themselves teachers. They are those who walk with me, demonstrating through their lives what they are teaching me as they provide safe space for mistakes and new starts. They are not those who criticize, condemn and demand respect.
A friend and I were talking recently about how there are so many things in my walk as a believer in Christ that I don’t understand or don’t know. She was pointing out how grateful she is that we still have a rabbi, a teacher, in Jesus as He walks with us. We don’t have a God who has abandoned us to perform and figure it out on our own, but One who travels each step of the journey with us.
So often I notice that people want to proclaim how much they know, how wise they are. I find myself recognizing how little I know the older I get. I have actually been freed up in that revelation quite a lot, as I don’t have to have all the answers (or pretend I do!) when someone asks me a question. I remember my friend Mike Wells telling me that he had just received the answer to a question he had asked God 25 years before. My first thought was, “It took 25 years to get an answer?!” I was a bit disappointed in that news. But then I realized that meant I didn’t need to have all the answers right now, as God would bring the information I need in the time I need it. That’s a relief!
God of the messy and the inconsistent,
God of the distracted and ashamed,
God of the broken-hearted and grieving,
God of the discouraged and anxious—
Thank you as we start the year afresh,
We do not fear our own weakness or lack.
That we don’t have to pretend with you,
For you already know us inside and out.
Thank you for choosing to be the God of the messy.
Thank you for not expecting us to have it all together,
Or figured out or planned ahead.
Thank you for your patience in our failings and flaws.
In the work I do with pastoral counseling, we discuss the past and the way it has shaped our view of ourselves today, as well as our views of God. I do believe there is validity in doing this analysis to a degree, as it allows us to know why we do what we do presently, and also how to do something different as we move forward. So often we need to know the problem before we can allow God to heal the problem.
I do, however, believe that there is a limit to this, as continuing to go over and over the past ends up getting our eyes on the hurts and not on the way through. We must allow God to take the hurts of the past and replace it with our new identity. He has already done this, but we get to recognize how that plays out in our lives. Instead of continuing to believe we are worthless, shameful, unloved and unacceptable, we get to move into the reality that Jesus has made us worthy, shame-free, loved enormously, and acceptable completely. The more we focus on the past, the more stuck in it we become. So, it becomes a fine line between understanding the past and the effects on today and letting the past continue to control our present and future.
Mike Wells used to say that dwelling on the past and our pain for too long is incredibly boring. We get bored just over-analyzing all of it and getting nowhere. I want better, more and new. I don’t want to allow whoever hurt me to continue to control where I go now, both mentally and physically.
We did a birthday party for my son this last weekend. A bunch of his friends came over and did a Nerf gun war in the backyard in childhood bliss. I was talking with my son later that night and he totally shocked me by leaning over for a hug and saying, “Thanks for the fun party, Mom.” More often than not, my kids complain about what they don’t have rather than being thankful for what they do. And (who am I kidding here?) so do I.
Last night as I was wrapping gifts for my kids, I realized how excited I was for them to open some of the particular presents I had found them that I knew they would enjoy. I tell my son all the time about how giving can be more fun than receiving (not sure he believes me yet!) and I really mean it.
