Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

distraction

Dismissing Distractions

Dismissing Distractions

Every day a thousand things clamor for our attention, yelling to us about how important they are. Almost everyone in our lives are happy to tell us what should matter to us, what our focus should be. We can so easily live distracted, which also means we live exhausted as we get judged from every side about what should be our primary focus and how to make it so.

I have been rejected and beat up by religious people more than nonreligious. I know it’s because they have decided that the religion they hold is what’s saving them, what’s making God happy and they are terrified I’m doing it wrong. I have often said (as my mentor and friend Mike Wells taught me to do) that I will say things that are wrong, even downright blasphemy. God will allow this because He wants to draw people to Himself, not to follow me. It also keeps me in a place where I know my weakness, and I know I need Holy Spirit to interpret the very words that come out my mouth or my laptop.  He is the great interpreter, and He is able to translate and speak through whatever is said to bring His message to the person.

I will be the first to state that I can get it wrong, and I never want to stand up as someone who has all the answers. Because I don’t. All I have to offer is Jesus—a Life who gently invades our hearts and heals us from brokenness. I don’t want to get distracted by whatever program or theology someone has decided is preeminent. I want to be the person with the one-stringed banjo who keeps playing that one string over and over, because it’s the only string that matters to me. There are days often where people accuse me of being affiliated with all sorts of broken people. Isn’t that funny? We are all broken, but have arguments about who is more broken and judge and condemn others to try to make ourselves feel superior.

Birds and Pavers

Birds and Pavers

One of my favorite parts of summer mornings is sitting out on our back patio with my coffee before my kids get up, enjoying the bird songs and the smell of the flowers as they bloom. This particular morning, however, was a bit different because they had decided to repave the street that runs behind our house past the neighbors’ houses. The only thing I could hear or enjoy this morning was big rumbling trucks and beeping pavers, while the smell of asphalt permeated the air. I was less than impressed. I am grateful for the road refreshing, but couldn’t hear any birds or smell the flowers that I usually so enjoy.

As I sat there, I suddenly realized that the birds were still there, and still singing, but it was hard to make out their songs because of all the mechanical noise. I originally thought they were all gone—headed to somewhere more peaceful and less noisy. I could just barely make out a few songs, though, and was surprised to hear them. And I thought about how often distraction and confusion are the greatest tools of the enemy (along with shame of course) as they make us believe that maybe God has left.

When there are big, smelly, loud problems in our lives, it’s very easy to focus on them and feel as if hope and joy have gone. Anything from financial stress to health problems to relationship issues can be the things that demand our attention in the worst possible way—being louder in our heads and more all-consuming than anything else. I’m not for a minute arguing that they aren’t big, smelly and loud. That’s why they are so distracting. But I do want to fight for focus as I listen for the bird songs and get up close to the flowers so I don’t forget how they smell.

The truth of God’s presence is still there, but sometimes it’s really hard to see or hear Him. Sometimes it feels like we are surrounded by yucky things and are staring down the path of scary, awful futures. It’s in those times that I most need to refocus and ask for the ability to see and hear Jesus standing with me. He never leaves, but I can convince myself that He does. He never checks out, but I can feel as though He probably should. He never gives up on us, but I can give you all the reasons He really ought to.

Birds and Worries

Birds and Worries

I was walking my dog the other day through our neighborhood park, allowing him to run around and sniff every blade of grass for evidence of other animals. My eyes were on my feet, which is a common occurrence so that I don’t trip as often! My mind, however, was consumed with all the negative news of the day, and the personal struggles that were presenting themselves for obsession. I thought about inflation, about personal finances, about ministry finances, about my kids, about the mess that some schools are these days, about health problems in family and friends, about so much of the pain in the world. I was in deep.

Suddenly, I perceived God’s voice cutting through all the rest of it—Look up! I, thankfully, paid attention to what God was telling me, and glanced above me in the sky overhead. Hundreds of swallows danced and dove over me, catching bugs and enjoying the freedom of flight. They didn’t seem concerned about the state of the world as they made beautiful aerobatic maneuvers, performing what looked like a beautiful, chaotic dance of revelry and joy.

My thoughts went immediately to this verse:

What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by any amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow he has made. How then could he forget or abandon you? What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world. Luke 12:6-7

Battle Weary

Battle Weary

I feel battle-weary this week. It seems that no matter which way you turn, you get knocked down by another crisis. It is often in these times that we lose hope. We feel as if the situation will never resolve. Fear grips our world as we struggle through so many arguments, misunderstandings, outright attacks—the future seems grim and without hope.

This must have been true of every significant event in history. The point at which people wonder if it will ever be over, if our story will ever change. The people surviving the World War 1 and 2 with the Great Depression in the middle, aching to see the world free of conflict and just trying to feed families and keep people alive. The confusion of the Crusades in which people who claimed to be Christian pursued the demented idea that murdering people was the way to their salvation, while those who believed that Jesus loved and did not attack had to stand faithful to their people amidst the conflict. The persecution of Christians by Romans and the persecution of Christians today in China, India, so many other countries. And the division, death and suffering caused by evil in the world continues today. I can imagine that people in each of these dark places wondered if it would ever end, if God would ever rescue humanity out of such a mess that they had created.

He always does. He always sends help. Even if it’s not in the way or time we would choose, He moves in the suffering places to bring people freedom. You see, I think we often believe that death and suffering is the worst it can get, but separation from Him is actually worse. No, I don’t want anyone to be hurt, and neither does God. But can we push into the pain, realizing that there is a bigger picture to this—that sometimes pain is something that pushes us to compassion, to reaching out to others, to making a way ahead that otherwise would not be.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus