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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

joy

Joy in Times of Trouble

Joy in Times of Trouble

I have noticed in my own life that I will look at circumstances as “bad” or “good” depending on the outcome and how I feel about it. Especially recently, though, I have been challenged to look for the good in every situation—to find God in it. This doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily happy or comfortable in whatever is surrounding me, but I want to push through that discomfort to see what God has for me. I do believe there is always beauty that He can bring from ashes, that He is always bringing good even out of really yucky stuff. This doesn’t mean that He causes the yucky stuff or that we change the suffering by positive thinking, and I think that’s sometimes where we get tripped up. We don’t believe a god of love could watch us go through difficult things because that’s not loving—but perhaps the most loving thing to do is to allow the difficult things but still to bring hope and joy in the middle.

I just finished reading The Watchmaker’s Daughter, a newer book about Corrie ten Boom’s life during and after World War 2. If you know me, you know that Corrie is one of my heroes, so a new book about her life was right up my alley. One of the themes that comes through repeatedly is the way the ten Boom family all tried to find joy and hope in extremely dire situations. Whether hiding Jews and working with the underground, enduring prison, or dealing with the torture and horrific conditions in a concentration camp, they all realized their relationship with God got them through and allowed them to see the good in terrible situations. Her sister Betsie, who died while in the concentration camp, told her sister Corrie that people would listen to them because they had been through such awful conditions. And the message was clear—no matter how deep and dark the pit in which they found themselves, God’s love was deeper still and carried them through. Corrie went on to travel the world speaking about forgiveness and God’s love, and she had earned her place to do so as she worked with communities who were forsaken and abandoned by all other help.

Joy, Prayer and Thanksgiving When You Don't Feel Like Any of It

Joy, Prayer and Thanksgiving When You Don't Feel Like Any of It

I was being a whiny baby yesterday. Do you ever have those days where you feel like you just complain and moan about everything, and you don’t even want to be around yourself? That was my attitude. It was unpleasant to say the least.

In the middle of my funk, I remembered something I’ve heard many times—there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. That thought did not help my mood, as I wanted to throw a complete tantrum stating there wasn’t anything to be thankful for in this day.

But God.

In His quiet, shepherding way, Jesus reminded me of a verse in 1 Thessalonians, one which I’ve used to beat myself up in the past in an attempt to bust out of the whining and complaining. But this time I heard it differently.

Where's the Joy?

Where's the Joy?

I was walking my dog through our neighborhood yesterday, and met the most interesting man. I greeted him like I greet every other person I walk by on the sidewalk, and he proceeded to give me a story that did not match his countenance. His face was so peaceful and happy, and as he spoke, he smiled and laughed. He told me of how 15 years ago he had a motorcycle accident which left him in assisted care, where he lives now. Obviously dealing with a brain injury, he could no longer live without care. The way he told me this story, though, caught me off guard because he had so much joy. He emphasized the positives—he was able to live off insurance and retirement for the last 15 years, enjoying his walks and moving here from Florida. The man spoke as if he was a complete success and had won at life!

I thought about my interaction with him the rest of the walk. I know this man has some brain complications from his wreck, but he has chosen to look for the joy in a life that would seem like a failure or like a miss to a lot of the world. He was content, and had no reason to complain. How often do I look at my situation and find joy, regardless of how it looks to others?

In Philippians, Paul talks often about joy, and this also seems rather ironic since he was in prison at the time with no release date in sight. He was able to find joy in the middle of circumstances that seemed less than ideal. It sure does make me mad, though, when I am complaining about my own difficulty and someone asks me where the joy is in it. I feel that it is trite and rather dismissive of my pain when it is suggested that I should be rising above it to find joy.

But what I’m realizing more and more is that the joy isn’t found IN the problem. It’s not like we are supposed to really enjoy the pain and the issue at hand. That’s just denial. I think the joy that Paul found no matter what his circumstance was the joy in Jesus. He saw past the problem to knowing Jesus through it, and rejoiced!

Blue Monday

Blue Monday

I heard on the radio the other day that the third Monday of January is called Blue Monday. Apparently, many people are struggling with being done with a fun time of year at Christmas while still having the bills, the failed New Year’s resolutions and the cold weather. Whether you call it seasonal affective disorder or just the winter blues, many people really struggle with discouragement, lack of motivation, depression and hopelessness during this time of year.

I wonder how much of that is our sense of failure, as we realize we spent too much money at Christmas, ate more than we wanted to, or didn’t keep any of the resolutions we had set up for ourselves at the beginning of the year. So often we define our mood by our sense of accomplishment, and a bad mood starts with feeling like we have only failed at everything.

Last week I felt myself going into the funk of discouragement. I was tired and worn out with dealing with a lot of physical and emotional issues in my family over the last month. I cried out for something to give, for the “normal” to return and with it, peace. I forgot something, though, as I tend to do.

What To Do When You Aren't Radiating With Hope

What To Do When You Aren't Radiating With Hope

I always want to be real with you guys, not pretending to have it all together or to never struggle. I want you to know that Jesus is the same for me as He is for you—and He is enough for all the messes in life as well as the days that seems to stretch on forever. And I hit a wall this week.

I was exhausted, felt sick (not coronavirus symptoms) and had to cancel some remote appointments. In short, I was not radiating with hope like Romans 15:13 talks about.

Have you ever been there?

I knew when I woke up the morning after that I needed to regain my focus in order to operate out of the fullness of uncontainable joy and perfect peace, because I definitely was not. I usually get to the end of my rope when I don’t even realize I have changed my source and have decided that all the pressure to perform, do and produce has landed squarely on my own shoulders again.

The Blood of Jesus & Confidence for Today

The Blood of Jesus & Confidence for Today

Often I want to skip the suffering of the cross and go straight to the glory of Easter morning, when Jesus rose from the dead and presented Himself in victory to those who surrounded Him throughout His earthly ministry. I want the celebration without the fight. I want the promises of God to come to fruition without having to wait for them. Basically, I want the easy way out.

When Christmas Hurts

When Christmas Hurts

Christmas time is here! For me, Christmas is a beautiful time of year to refocus and worship the King of Kings. It does not for one second mean that this time is without turmoil, conflict, frustration and sadness. It’s interesting to me that throughout the Bible, God comes for those who are weak, unqualified and not at all what the world would choose as His representatives. And He does things in ways that they would not have chosen for themselves.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus