Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

pain

Where's the Joy?

Where's the Joy?

I was walking my dog through our neighborhood yesterday, and met the most interesting man. I greeted him like I greet every other person I walk by on the sidewalk, and he proceeded to give me a story that did not match his countenance. His face was so peaceful and happy, and as he spoke, he smiled and laughed. He told me of how 15 years ago he had a motorcycle accident which left him in assisted care, where he lives now. Obviously dealing with a brain injury, he could no longer live without care. The way he told me this story, though, caught me off guard because he had so much joy. He emphasized the positives—he was able to live off insurance and retirement for the last 15 years, enjoying his walks and moving here from Florida. The man spoke as if he was a complete success and had won at life!

I thought about my interaction with him the rest of the walk. I know this man has some brain complications from his wreck, but he has chosen to look for the joy in a life that would seem like a failure or like a miss to a lot of the world. He was content, and had no reason to complain. How often do I look at my situation and find joy, regardless of how it looks to others?

In Philippians, Paul talks often about joy, and this also seems rather ironic since he was in prison at the time with no release date in sight. He was able to find joy in the middle of circumstances that seemed less than ideal. It sure does make me mad, though, when I am complaining about my own difficulty and someone asks me where the joy is in it. I feel that it is trite and rather dismissive of my pain when it is suggested that I should be rising above it to find joy.

But what I’m realizing more and more is that the joy isn’t found IN the problem. It’s not like we are supposed to really enjoy the pain and the issue at hand. That’s just denial. I think the joy that Paul found no matter what his circumstance was the joy in Jesus. He saw past the problem to knowing Jesus through it, and rejoiced!

Suffering With Those Who Suffer

Suffering With Those Who Suffer

Many people ask me how I do what I do, talking with people who feel so broken every day to encourage them and point them to Jesus. It’s true there are days that I cry out from the heaviness of the stories, and the overwhelm of all the pain. Most days I enjoy the work I am privileged to do. I get to walk into people’s lives in places that most don’t ever hear about, and I treasure the trust that people give me in doing this. But what do we do when it’s just hard, and it seems like everyone around us is suffering and in agony?

First, I need to recognize when I’m trying to take on something that’s not mine to carry. My job is not to fix people, or their situations. When the pressure is on and I feel weighed down, often it’s because I am trying to take God’s job. Yes, I want to help, but I can’t help if I am overloaded with trying to solve problems I have no business trying to solve.

Second, I ask God for wisdom and strength in what to say and do. I have realized this year that the time I spend praying for people is more important than the time I spend talking with them. Why? Well, it puts me in a place to receive from God. When I realize I am weak and don’t have what it takes to fix a problem, I can receive the wisdom that Jesus is bringing to the situation and pass it on to the hurting person. God is the counselor—not me. So, I get to participate in what He is doing in someone, and that is a huge gift and a major relief as well. My friend Mike Wells used to say that we bring an empty bag and let God fill it with what people need. This no longer limits me to my own knowledge or skills, but open the door to the power of the God who knows all and works in hearts in a way I could never do.

Living in a Broken, Messed-Up World

Living in a Broken, Messed-Up World

It’s easy to feel that evil is swallowing up the world. Take one look around you and find pain, lies, brokenness and the overall feeling that we might be drowning without even realizing it. But perhaps what we see is what doing life without God looks like. It has happened many times before throughout history, this distancing from God and His ways. The results are never good. Governments, countries and powers that seem invincible and brilliant fall by the wayside as they implode. People convince themselves and each other that they are smarter than all the others and no longer need God.

Floating not Drowning

Floating not Drowning

Sometimes it feels like drowning.Like the abyss is swallowing you up.Sometimes your feet find no foundationAnd your mind wanders in frantic search.The waves threaten to cover youLeaving no trace of life behindThe fear seems to choke youAs you wait for a rescue that seems far away.

From Fear to Freedom

From Fear to Freedom

It is amazing to me to look back over my life and see the hand of God at work all throughout to reveal/ uncover Christ in me. Early in my life, I would fight the tools He would use. I still do, but much less often and with less intensity. It’s in those struggles, the very tools that I used to see as the enemy, that I am now seeing the tender invitation of God to a deeper relationship with Him and a life of freedom.

Something About Hope

Something About Hope

What is it about hope that allows us to face seemingly impossible situations without turning away? It almost seems an arrogant gall, but it’s really an idea that maybe things will get better, that I will get through this and that things will be better on the other side. But the real definition of hope to me is one that’s tied to Jesus, for hope without a God seems rather shallow.

What Do We Do With Rejection?

What Do We Do With Rejection?

Sometimes it feels like someone is trying to break down everything that makes you who you are and everything you have tried to build. Some days the rejection is so fierce that it feels like an all-consuming fire that you can’t fight. You just want to crawl in a hole and hide, licking your wounds like a hurting animal. What do you do when you are mistreated and rejected?

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus