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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
Posts
Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

courage

What My Kids Teach Me

What My Kids Teach Me

I learn from my kids almost every day. I’m not saying they are perfect, or never do anything that requires correction. But they also teach me. I don’t say this in arrogance, but I don’t think I expected to learn this much from my kids. I figured I’d be doing all the teaching, I suppose.

I watch them show up in bravery in ways I never would have imagined as a kid their ages. They face pain, discomfort, embarrassment and fear each day in their sports. My daughter stood on a pitcher’s mound yesterday and pitched two innings of the first game of the softball season, knowing it was going to be harder with this year’s rules and a tough first opponent. All eyes on her, she breathed through her fear and struck them out twice. It wasn’t perfect. It was better than perfect—it was brave.

My son walked onto a basketball court a couple of weeks ago and faced a three-person team of kids who were all at least a foot taller than him, and looked like grown men. He didn’t back down, but worked with his teammates to figure a way around the giants by shooting baskets from the outside and passing frequently. He didn’t quit or run away, and handled the loss like a champ. His perseverance showed in the next game where he came away scoring all but two of the points in the game. Even against incredible odds, he was all-in, continuing to forge ahead and figure out what to do next.

Both of them have faced being in different schools this year, and the loneliness that has brought on some days. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t always get along, but they at least knew they had a buddy somewhere in the school when they were at the same elementary school and would encourage each other in the hallways when they walked by. This year, my son took on middle school, which isn’t a scenario I would like to repeat in my own life. Walking into middle school feels like a totally different world than the elementary school, and he had to learn where all his classes were, how to keep up grades on his own and how to maneuver through the social weirdness that is that age. He has developed friendships, stayed away from the drama and didn’t allow the rejections that happened to deter him from continuing to engage with people.

Beginning, Middle and Ending

Beginning, Middle and Ending

I was watching the show The Chosen recently in which Jesus sends the disciples out in pairs to go spread the good news that He had come (from Mark 6). They were charged to heal, to free from demons and to share what He had taught them with others they encountered. And they were not to take anything to feed themselves or prepare themselves for the journey really, as they were to rely on the hospitality of those to whom they were going.

I think sometimes we forget the craziness of this for these men. They had been following Jesus for a bit, yes, but they were now being sent out to do things they had only watched Him do. And they couldn’t rely on their knowledge or their preparation. It had to have been so scary. Can you imagine the first time one of them stopped to pray for someone and had no idea what the outcome would be? Can you feel the awful rejection that many of them faced as they were thrown out of places and threatened?

I can. Because I have been called to the same crazy idea. And I bet many of you have too. You move into what God has called you to do with no knowledge and no idea what the outcome is going to be. You don’t even know how to be prepared for it! Anytime you speak of Jesus to others, there is always the possibility of rejection and ridicule. Especially by the religious leaders, who don’t want to look to God but instead want to maintain their rules and power.

Peace & Courage

Peace & Courage

We talk about peace a lot around Christmas. The Bible mentions peace even more often. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. Peace is something that Jesus leaves with us. Peace is something that might not make sense as it surpasses all understanding.

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous! John 14:27

I believe Jesus left peace with us by leaving us Himself. Peace is not the absence of conflict or suffering, but a person. When I am in relationship with God (in other words, acknowledging His presence), I have peace. No matter what else is going on around me, I can have peace.

So often we want peace to be when everything is going “right” and we are enjoying green meadows and bubbling brooks. Even when we are surrounded by craziness, though, we can have peace because we always have Jesus. He promises to never leave us.

You Are a Mighty Warrior

You Are a Mighty Warrior

I am grateful there are people throughout the stories in the Bible who are cowardly, fearful, argumentative, and generally have a bad attitude. These stories remind me that it’s not about God having a really strong person in me, but my weakness allows His strength to be shown. Gideon is one of those people.

Gideon is scared, and not at all brave when it comes to tackling the idol worship going on in his camp. He doesn’t want to go fight Israel’s enemies and conquer them. He’d rather hide and hope everything comes out ok.

There are a lot of things I’m scared of, and if I get focused on them, they seem all-consuming. When God asks me to do something, I’m usually first to show Him all the reasons why that something isn’t a good idea. And why I’m not the woman for the job.

But just like He did with Gideon, God tells me that He will be enough for whatever I am facing. He says that with His presence, I have all I need.

I would rather He be a little more informative. I would like a bit more of the plan before I start. But often it is the simplicity of reminding me that His presence is what I have, and that is more than sufficient for whatever I face.

Courageous Peace

Courageous Peace

I often misunderstand God’s peace. I want it to be an absence of hard circumstances, or not being uncomfortable. Sometimes, it’s equated with happiness. But the verses in the Bible about peace don’t view peace like this at all. In fact, it’s often talked about in the middle of hard things. And Jesus says that it’s not a fragile peace like the world gives, but perfect peace. Unexplainable peace.

I have realized that I generally want peace to be tied to circumstances, but that’s comfort. No, peace doesn’t come from what surrounds you, but from Jesus Himself. To me, that’s actually quite a relief as that means I don’t have to have great circumstances to find peace. (Although, don’t get me wrong—I’d love to not be in the middle of suffering.) But that means that anywhere, and in anything, Jesus can be my peace.

Fear Doesn't Get To Be Your Boss

Fear Doesn't Get To Be Your Boss

Anybody else make decisions throughout their day struggling with fear? Could be anything from fear of death to fear of missing out, and everything in between. But fear becomes the boss of you. It tells you how to live and what to avoid. It makes you believe you are controlling your life by obeying it. But any control given to you by fear is an illusion.

So, if God doesn’t give you the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7-8), how do you take fear out of the driver’s seat?

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus