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Hannah Morrell
Faithfulness Even Still

My friends in Haiti are isolated from the world again after the gangs fired on a commercial plane and the airport was closed this week. They were ousted from their homes for over a year while fighting raged around them and they went into hiding. They have shown up for teen and preteen kids who are watching their friends die, and who are still healing from their pasts. I am so blown away by their faithfulness.

I speak to several woman who are raising kids while dealing with debilitating illness and chronic pain in themselves. They show up for their families in the ways they can while desperately surviving their own health journeys. I know they often feel like they are failing, like they can’t do what other moms can do. But I stand in awe of their faithfulness to keep showing up.

Faithfulness Even Still
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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted

strength

Strength in Weakness

Strength in Weakness

I had a dream this week that has stayed with me as a comfort and encouragement. In the dream, I was a little girl standing in a giant cave with lots of people milling around. To get out of the cave, I had to climb a steep dirt slope, and I was exhausted. I flopped down on the ground, giving up any chance of ascending. A big, burly man walked up behind me, and lifted me up into his arms gently. After adjusting my weight a little, he started to climb the path out of the cave. Upon reaching the top of the slope, he gently laid me down on the ground. I didn’t even have the energy to acknowledge my gratitude for his help, but simply rolled over to go to sleep right in the middle of the dirt. My favorite part of the dream was that the man chuckled softly, tickled that I would just go right to sleep there.

As I have thought more about this, I keep getting more and more insight into what God tells us in His being our strength in weakness. We don’t have to know how to ask for help, or even be able to. God knows we need help before we do sometimes! Some of the very things that seem like they will be the end of us are an incredibly great portal for His strength to be displayed in us. We don’t need to be afraid of those weaknesses or hide them. Instead, we glorify our kind Father as He lifts us up through them.

Strength in Rest

Strength in Rest

Rest is almost a foreign concept in our culture these days. We are so busy, and fill our lives constantly with productivity, hoping that the busyness will make us feel strong, superior or like we are at least doing life in a way that makes others think we have some value. I think sometimes we are trying to prove ourselves worthy of our own lives. We run at such a pace that we don’t have to stop and think, fostering true relationship or accepting the peace that rest brings.

Rest has almost become equated with laziness. I think often of how in Luke 10, Jesus spoke to Martha when Mary was sitting at His feet, and I wonder how anything practical was supposed to get done with people just sitting around! I would have had the same exasperation as Martha, and have had it in moments of stressful preparation. Jesus wasn’t criticizing Martha’s practical bent, I think, but rather saying that work must come from a source of rest, intimacy and relationship.

Sometimes I believe I have a handle on all that I need to get done in a day, and I’m stressed immediately with anything I see as an interruption in this schedule I see as necessary to get so much accomplished. I think God might purposefully send me interruptions on these days in order to remind me that productivity is not its own source. I must have something that provides strength, wisdom and direction, or I’m just spinning my wheels to accomplish what I have put on my list.

What My Kids Teach Me

What My Kids Teach Me

I learn from my kids almost every day. I’m not saying they are perfect, or never do anything that requires correction. But they also teach me. I don’t say this in arrogance, but I don’t think I expected to learn this much from my kids. I figured I’d be doing all the teaching, I suppose.

I watch them show up in bravery in ways I never would have imagined as a kid their ages. They face pain, discomfort, embarrassment and fear each day in their sports. My daughter stood on a pitcher’s mound yesterday and pitched two innings of the first game of the softball season, knowing it was going to be harder with this year’s rules and a tough first opponent. All eyes on her, she breathed through her fear and struck them out twice. It wasn’t perfect. It was better than perfect—it was brave.

My son walked onto a basketball court a couple of weeks ago and faced a three-person team of kids who were all at least a foot taller than him, and looked like grown men. He didn’t back down, but worked with his teammates to figure a way around the giants by shooting baskets from the outside and passing frequently. He didn’t quit or run away, and handled the loss like a champ. His perseverance showed in the next game where he came away scoring all but two of the points in the game. Even against incredible odds, he was all-in, continuing to forge ahead and figure out what to do next.

Both of them have faced being in different schools this year, and the loneliness that has brought on some days. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t always get along, but they at least knew they had a buddy somewhere in the school when they were at the same elementary school and would encourage each other in the hallways when they walked by. This year, my son took on middle school, which isn’t a scenario I would like to repeat in my own life. Walking into middle school feels like a totally different world than the elementary school, and he had to learn where all his classes were, how to keep up grades on his own and how to maneuver through the social weirdness that is that age. He has developed friendships, stayed away from the drama and didn’t allow the rejections that happened to deter him from continuing to engage with people.

Beginning, Middle and Ending

Beginning, Middle and Ending

I was watching the show The Chosen recently in which Jesus sends the disciples out in pairs to go spread the good news that He had come (from Mark 6). They were charged to heal, to free from demons and to share what He had taught them with others they encountered. And they were not to take anything to feed themselves or prepare themselves for the journey really, as they were to rely on the hospitality of those to whom they were going.

I think sometimes we forget the craziness of this for these men. They had been following Jesus for a bit, yes, but they were now being sent out to do things they had only watched Him do. And they couldn’t rely on their knowledge or their preparation. It had to have been so scary. Can you imagine the first time one of them stopped to pray for someone and had no idea what the outcome would be? Can you feel the awful rejection that many of them faced as they were thrown out of places and threatened?

I can. Because I have been called to the same crazy idea. And I bet many of you have too. You move into what God has called you to do with no knowledge and no idea what the outcome is going to be. You don’t even know how to be prepared for it! Anytime you speak of Jesus to others, there is always the possibility of rejection and ridicule. Especially by the religious leaders, who don’t want to look to God but instead want to maintain their rules and power.

Divine Strength

Divine Strength

Honestly, I am not always excited when God brings the theme of the coming year for me as I pray on it in December. It is almost never something I expect (or frankly, want) and I sometimes get a bit nervous about how He’s going to bring it forth over the next year.

So, with the upcoming year when the word is “strength” I really wanted to ask for a different one! Ha! Why? Well, strength sounds nice, and in fact, it’s often what we work towards. We want to strengthen our physical bodies, our minds, our spirits, our hearts. We try self-help programs, workouts, a variety of methods to strengthen ourselves, thinking that one day we will be able to look at ourselves with admiration.

I find, though, that God’s view on strength is different. You see, divine strength is what God is going to give us, not necessarily an increase in fleshly strength. He doesn’t want the flesh to get stronger because He knows that’s bad for us. Instead, He wants us to grow more and more dependent on Him for supernatural strength that only comes through Him.

He Holds My Hand

He Holds My Hand

If your week looks anything like mine, you are running a little ragged. Yours might feel better or worse, but regardless there are so many days that I wake up telling God how I don’t have what I need for today at all. I don’t know how to do it. I can’t possibly have the strength or time to do it. I don’t even want to do it.

Sometimes the way ahead feels completely impossible. The mountain in front of you looks insurmountable. The feelings around you threaten to drown you, and you are convinced that there is no other way but to live in anxiety and constant hypervigilance.

I will tell you what God has been telling me. Not because I understand it completely, but because it is most comforting when you are facing a life that seems impossible.

Weakness is a Gift

Weakness is a Gift

I write and talk about weakness quite a lot, probably because I’m a fairly independent woman who doesn’t like to admit any lack. God is faithful to teach me a lot about it because I don’t want to learn! Generally, when I feel weak, I either try to cover it up and make it look fine, or I run away from whatever it is and decide I can’t do it. Interestingly enough, that is not what God asks us to do with weakness.

I am beginning to see that places of weakness or inability are actually gifts. I know, it sounds strange, right? But these places are where we most find and see the power of Jesus within. It’s sort of like a very thin spot in a piece of fabric—it has been worn to more fully show what is beneath it. I generally throw away clothes that get that level of holes in them, but what God says is to invite Him to show through all the cracks and holes of our lives.

When I see the spots where my patience is wearing thin, or I have no compassion left for someone, or I am just too weary to handle one more burden, this is where I can most experience God’s power because I’m not trying to do something for Him. I have begun to anticipate these times with joy, because after I get done with pondering my self-help plan for making myself stronger, I can then instead turn to God spiritually and ask Him for help. He never turns me down! He’s been waiting this whole time for my request.

What If God Gives You More Than You Can Handle?

What If God Gives You More Than You Can Handle?

I can’t tell you how often I hear the phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle!” It makes me cringe every time because then the implication is that if you are overwhelmed by the circumstances that surround you, then you aren’t doing life right. You must be weak, or faithless, or messing something up. But this is nowhere in the Bible!

The verse that I think is misquoted to mean this is 1 Cor 10:13, in which Paul talks about how God will always provide a way of escape from temptation. This verse DOES NOT say that we will never find ourselves in places that are overwhelming or too much for our own strength.

In fact, in 2 Cor 1:8-11, Paul talks about the severe trials he had experienced in Turkey, so overwhelming that he and the others being persecuted wanted to give up entirely. But he says these circumstances taught him to lose faith in himself and place all of his trust in the God who raises the dead. I find it interesting that Paul references God’s miraculous resurrections in this case—in other words, nothing (not even death) is too much for God.

Have you ever found yourself in a place that seemed too much for you to handle? Maybe it’s physical illness, or incredible work stress, or financial loss and insecurity, or emotional rollercoasters of relationships, or the idols of coping like addiction, or the repercussions of trauma, or feeling stuck and unable to get any traction in life. I’m feeling overwhelmed just listing these and thinking of people in each of these situations.

Weakness as a Portal

Weakness as a Portal

I spoke to a woman the other day who told me she couldn’t be good enough to make God happy. And I told her I couldn’t either! I am happy to tell people about my failings and missteps because I don’t believe we are loved by God because we have a pretty image or façade. I also don’t believe that God is hoping we are strong enough to live the Christian life on our own. Instead, He offers His strength, wisdom, power, patience, and everything else to us in return for us to give up our efforts and our attempts to be good or to make Him happy.

I love what Paul says about rejoicing in weakness. He doesn’t say that he really likes his weakness necessarily, but rather than in his weakness, he was able to sense more deeply the power of Christ living in him. Paul saw weakness not as a disappointment to God, but rather a portal to His power! That’s a bit of a different take, isn’t it?

So often we obsess on getting it all right, whether the standard be God’s, other peoples’ or our own. Yet, God’s standard is automatically derailed when we realize He never meant for us to live in a pleasing way to Him without His power allowing us to achieve that. When we start from that point, we realize that the standard isn’t really important—it’s the relationship. Isn’t that what we want with everyone? I don’t want someone living up to my standard for them. I want relationship with them!

You Are a Mighty Warrior

You Are a Mighty Warrior

I am grateful there are people throughout the stories in the Bible who are cowardly, fearful, argumentative, and generally have a bad attitude. These stories remind me that it’s not about God having a really strong person in me, but my weakness allows His strength to be shown. Gideon is one of those people.

Gideon is scared, and not at all brave when it comes to tackling the idol worship going on in his camp. He doesn’t want to go fight Israel’s enemies and conquer them. He’d rather hide and hope everything comes out ok.

There are a lot of things I’m scared of, and if I get focused on them, they seem all-consuming. When God asks me to do something, I’m usually first to show Him all the reasons why that something isn’t a good idea. And why I’m not the woman for the job.

But just like He did with Gideon, God tells me that He will be enough for whatever I am facing. He says that with His presence, I have all I need.

I would rather He be a little more informative. I would like a bit more of the plan before I start. But often it is the simplicity of reminding me that His presence is what I have, and that is more than sufficient for whatever I face.

Letting Go of Perfection in Favor of Love

Letting Go of Perfection in Favor of Love

This morning I realized one minute before we walked out the door for school drop-off that it’s 50’s day at school. And I have nothing to make my son look “50’s” at all. He tried to be gracious about it, and for that I’m thankful. But his disappointed look made me run smack into the wall of my own desire for perfectionism in all things. My standard for myself was not met. 

Baby Steps

Baby Steps

There was a movie many years ago called “What About Bob?” in which the two main characters are a psychiatrist and patient. The patient proceeds to drive the psychiatrist totally crazy by following his “baby steps” right into chasing the therapist down on vacation. The idea of baby steps for everything—small movements or decisions in life that add up to bigger strides to a goal—were supposed to help Bob (the patient) to overcome some of his anxiety. As funny as that movie was about the whole thing, there is something to be said for baby-stepping your way through life.

Provision for Your Calling

Provision for Your Calling

Sometimes the callings on our lives seem so grand and enlightening. And sometimes, they seem more like just surviving. Our week-long camping trip in southern Colorado turned out like the latter. After pulling the kids out of school, we would head off to the Great Sand Dunes for a few days, followed by Pagosa Springs and maybe the Royal Gorge if we had time. I was really looking forward to sitting in a hot springs pool for an afternoon after a stressful back-to-school month. 

Floating not Drowning

Floating not Drowning

Sometimes it feels like drowning.Like the abyss is swallowing you up.Sometimes your feet find no foundationAnd your mind wanders in frantic search.The waves threaten to cover youLeaving no trace of life behindThe fear seems to choke youAs you wait for a rescue that seems far away.

How Do You Find the Strength for Today?

How Do You Find the Strength for Today?

This morning, so many people woke up and couldn’t dream up the strength to get out of bed.  I can think of ones who face chronic pain and illness, ones who woke to support loved ones at yet another doctor’s appointment, ones who see an uncertain future for a rocky relationship, ones who approach what seems like an insurmountable obstacle.

Choosing to Remember the Truth That Sets Us Free

Choosing to Remember the Truth That Sets Us Free

Who am I? Apart from Christ, no more than a broken woman with no special powers or intelligence. A mother who gets impatient with her kids and lives in regret often over the reactions. A wife who loves imperfectly and sometimes focuses on the flaws rather than the good. A person who beats herself up often for all the lack, forgetting to remember the Source for any good thing.

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the Bleak Midwinter

January and February are not my favorite months of the year. They are still definitely winter, but the fun of the Christmas season is over and they often just seem bleak and cold to me. I thrive in spring and summer—the green shoots coming up that I’ve planted and nurtured, the warmth of the air and the smell of new life.Recently, though, God’s been reminding me of the importance of winter.

Incredible Love

Incredible Love

So many people I’ve talked to recently speak of feeling “beat up” especially after the holidays. Family time has been scathing and torturous rather than enjoyable. Relationships you thought you could count on have turned on you and left you feeling betrayed. The days you looked forward to because of what they are “supposed to be” as portrayed by our culture have stung you like a scorpion hiding in a shoe.

You Want Me To Do What, God?

You Want Me To Do What, God?

 I was reading this morning about when Saul (the guy who liked pulling Christians out of their homes and carting them off to jail) comes face to face with Jesus on the road (Acts 9). He’s headed to do more damage and is very determined to stamp out this crazy faction of Jesus followers. The Christians would have been terrified to see him coming.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus