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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
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Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

religion

Breaking Free From Religion

Breaking Free From Religion

You may think that living the Christian life is either extremely boring, or nearly impossible. Waves of guilt and shame combine with a constant feeling of inadequacy to create a life of judgement and self-condemnation. At every turn, you encounter another reason that you don’t measure up or need to be doing more. You obsess on what you see as your failures and think that this mental self-mutilation will somehow make a difference next time. You heart lays bleeding and torn after you’ve beaten yourself with all the messages you have received throughout life from those who have done you wrong. Comparison and self-righteousness hasn’t provided any relief, and you just want something real. Yuck!

I hope, in the pages to come, to show you the contrast of this outlook with the life I believe Jesus intended us to live when He died for us in the in the first place: a life of joy and overflowing love that fills us up with acceptance and belonging. That acceptance and belonging then spill over to those around us as mercy and grace pouring out over every step.

The Christian life doesn’t require us to do more or be more; rather, it provides an exchange of our junk for God’s perfection, strength and peace that allows us to live in a completely differently. This life is about rest, not more striving. It is about love and belonging, not more rejection. It is about being able to live in the impossible while accessing the strength of the God of the universe to move forward. It is about living in the faith of Jesus, rather than condemning ourselves for not being able to drum up enough faith on our own.

God created us for relationship, first with Himself and then with other people. But these relationships often bring trouble as pain and discouragement result from their messiness. Relationship, in its proper place, provides the foundation for living. The order must be right, though, for us to enjoy it. Relationship with God is the basis for love, acceptance, rest, peace, joy, and everything else we need to live. Relationship with humans can be wonderful, but it must follow a relationship with God in order for us not to be mangled and torn up by the crazy humans we encounter through life.

The Poison of Religion

The Poison of Religion

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that a book needed to be written about the injustices and crimes committed by those who claimed to know God, so that we could show the differences between those whose hearts are actually God’s, and those who claim any sort of power that will allow them to abuse and manipulate. I am not planning to write that book, but I have been thinking a lot about the poison of religion when it claims to know God or speak for Him while doing the opposite of His character. 

It is interesting how often Jesus criticizes the religious hierarchy in His teaching in the Gospels. He calls them out for beating people down with rules and laws while breaking them, or not acting in love toward any of their people. He sees the hypocrisy of their behavior as they postured greatness but really acted as criminals in religious clothing.

This story has been repeated throughout the ages since Jesus, but they have taken on His name and claimed His message of salvation. They go without grace, without love and without real Life to offer anyone. They hurt, destroy, abuse, kill, manipulate, and break people as they go. People who equate God’s name or message with these individuals or organizations are, understandably, horrified, and want nothing to do with God the rest of their lives because of the pain they have caused.

Recognizing Freedom

Recognizing Freedom

I just got to spend an incredible weekend with a group of women talking about freedom in Christ. I was so excited about what God was teaching me through preparing for the women’s retreat, I wanted to share some of it in a blog post.

Freedom is not something we create, but rather recognize. We are recognizing the freedom Jesus has already provided for us. He has done all the work, and the responsibility for freeing us from sin, shame, rejection, and so many other things is all His. When we accept this gift, we slowly begin to move into the realization of this freedom.

From what are we free? From our past and the negative identity messages that have been ingrained in our minds as we acknowledge the new life given and the Truth that sets us free. From rejection and people-pleasing as we recognize that crazy people don’t get to tell me who I am—only Jesus gets to tell me who I am now. From being a slave to emotion as I realize that emotion isn’t bad, but it should never be in charge and should be led with truth. From the world’s definition of success and failure as I recognize that success to God is knowing Him (Jn 17:3) and dependence on Him for every bit of my daily life. From fear as I recognize perfect love casts out fear and can move into being motivated by love instead of fear. From comparison—seeing people with God’s eyes and loving them rather than trying to feel more superior through comparison. From walking in sin as I realize sin isn’t natural or comfortable for the believer who loves Jesus, but it isn’t a guilt motivation but rather a natural outflow of Christ’s life in us. From filling needs with things of this world, as we realize they are like cotton candy—taste good for a minute but have no nutritional value or sustenance. From religion as we see the rules never helped anyone be free, but the relationship is the beginning of freedom.

Religious Performance vs. Life in Christ

Religious Performance vs. Life in Christ

I think one of my greatest struggles in life has been to break free from the “religious” performance and recognize Christ’s Life as the source of every good work. I used to obsess on how I was working so hard to make God happy, when that was not His desire at all. In fact, I failed a lot and was completely miserable in my quest to be a perfect child of God on my own. Not to mention I judged a lot of other people in order to try to make myself feel better. Of course, it didn’t work, and I just ended up being a judgmental, miserable human with a prettied up exterior to show off in an attempt to prove I was something else. So much work for nothing!

Religion vs. Relationship

Religion vs. Relationship

I have a friend who calls himself a “recovering religious addict.” I can describe myself this way also. There are days I want to try to make a formula fit every situation, rather than turning to the One with whom I have relationship. I sit in self-righteousness for a moment over something I want to say I’ve done, only to collapse into self-loathing in realization I can’t maintain anything. Religion is poisonous and life-sucking, as we try to earn love and approval through performance. And it’s love we already have from God! We work for something we already have.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus