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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted
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Hannah Morrell
The Powerful Force of Hope

Hope is often viewed as a destination—like saying we hope for the future, and believing we get the hope when we arrive at the future we are expecting or creating in our minds. We believe that our lives should “normalize” or the tough stuff should stop happening at some point, and that’s the point where hope is manifested.

I was reading Katherine Wolf’s Treasures in the Dark recently, and she addresses this after she has suffered an almost-life-ending stroke, multiple neural events, broken bones and recovery from all of those things. She says:

Whether I acknowledged it or not, hope had been a destination to me. Something to be attained or achieved. I thought I could successfully complete a one-time progressive ascent from hurting to healing to hoping, then hang out at the top for the rest of my life. Easy breezy! Maybe this sounds like something you’ve believed too. 

The Powerful Force of Hope

freedom

Freedom in Love

Freedom in Love

Especially around holidays like July 4th in the United States, I think of all the sacrifices that have been made over the years for our freedom to do all the things we are able to do. No, the United States is not perfect, but we do enjoy much freedom that so many other countries do not. I get teary often as I think of others laying down their lives for complete strangers to them. I could never deserve or earn that gift. This thought always leads me to an even bigger sacrifice of love in which God engaged to free us from slavery to sin and death.

I was reading Titus (which I honestly haven’t read in quite a long time) and found this gem of a few verses that stood out. Apparently this is believed to be a part of an early church hymn or poem, and it sums up the story so beautifully.

When the extraordinary compassion of God our Savior and his overpowering love suddenly appeared in person as the brightness of a dawning day, he came to save us. Not because of any virtuous deed that we have done but only because of his extravagant mercy. He saved us, resurrecting us through the washing of rebirth. We are made completely new by the Holy Spirit, whom he splashed over us richly by Jesus, the Messiah, our Life Giver. So as a gift of his love, and since we are faultless—innocent before his face—we can now become heirs of all things, all because of an overflowing hope of eternal life. How true and faithful is this message! Titus 3:4-8

In this passage, the whole Trinity—Father, Son and Spirit—are involved in this great rescue plan. I love that this idea was birthed in extraordinary compassion and overpowering love. This was not motivated by guilt or fear or duty. God wanted relationship with us, and that love reached out to save us, no matter what that cost.

We can’t deserve or earn this sacrifice because we can’t be virtuous enough to earn it. Instead, He had extravagant mercy and saved us, birthing us again as a new creation (2 Cor 5:17). We have been made new, and are being made new. I think this refers to the renewing of the mind and sanctifying us that happens by the Holy Spirit’s work in us. We are new creations through Christ’s sacrifice and blood, and now we are constantly being freed from sin’s effects and control through the Holy Spirit’s constant splashing on us.

Breaking Free From Religion

Breaking Free From Religion

You may think that living the Christian life is either extremely boring, or nearly impossible. Waves of guilt and shame combine with a constant feeling of inadequacy to create a life of judgement and self-condemnation. At every turn, you encounter another reason that you don’t measure up or need to be doing more. You obsess on what you see as your failures and think that this mental self-mutilation will somehow make a difference next time. You heart lays bleeding and torn after you’ve beaten yourself with all the messages you have received throughout life from those who have done you wrong. Comparison and self-righteousness hasn’t provided any relief, and you just want something real. Yuck!

I hope, in the pages to come, to show you the contrast of this outlook with the life I believe Jesus intended us to live when He died for us in the in the first place: a life of joy and overflowing love that fills us up with acceptance and belonging. That acceptance and belonging then spill over to those around us as mercy and grace pouring out over every step.

The Christian life doesn’t require us to do more or be more; rather, it provides an exchange of our junk for God’s perfection, strength and peace that allows us to live in a completely differently. This life is about rest, not more striving. It is about love and belonging, not more rejection. It is about being able to live in the impossible while accessing the strength of the God of the universe to move forward. It is about living in the faith of Jesus, rather than condemning ourselves for not being able to drum up enough faith on our own.

God created us for relationship, first with Himself and then with other people. But these relationships often bring trouble as pain and discouragement result from their messiness. Relationship, in its proper place, provides the foundation for living. The order must be right, though, for us to enjoy it. Relationship with God is the basis for love, acceptance, rest, peace, joy, and everything else we need to live. Relationship with humans can be wonderful, but it must follow a relationship with God in order for us not to be mangled and torn up by the crazy humans we encounter through life.

Throwing Off Shame

Throwing Off Shame

Have you ever considered that when you condemn yourself for something, you are saying that the blood of Jesus wasn’t enough? And when you take on and wear shame, you are saying Jesus’ sacrifice didn’t cover this particular thing for which you feel shame? Unfortunately, several religious communities have preached with great conviction that we must earn the love of God by good works and avoiding the bad stuff. But I don’t believe that is Scriptural or true.

The love of God was demonstrated when He sent Jesus to die for us, even while we hated Him, didn’t know Him, and didn’t care to. The one sacrifice Jesus made took on all the bad stuff—there is nothing that is too much or wasn’t covered at that point—past, present and future. If there was, Jesus would have to die over and over again to cover it.

When we agree with condemnation, we are negating Jesus’ death and resurrection. We are saying it is not enough, and I must really beat up on myself before I can be stamped “approved” by God. I must wallow in self-pity, in condemnation and in shame in order to earn God’s love. Yuck.

Set Free to Walk in Freedom

Set Free to Walk in Freedom

Once a slave to sin and death,
Now free to walk as a loved child of God!

Once a leper, rejected and broken,
Now made whole, complete and accepted!

Once a dirty rag, tossed to one side,
Now a beloved Bride, unstained and untouched.

Once cowering and fearful, waiting for death,
Now a conqueror walking in faith.

Once a performer, desperate to meet a standard,
Now already accepted, with no need to perform.

Once invisible and unheard, no attention given,
Now He inclines His ear to hear and see me.

Once a blind person, seeking through darkness
Now sight restored and made new in the Light of the world.

Once a dead person walking, no way to save myself,
Now filled with resurrection life!

Don't Let Worry Be My Bread

Don't Let Worry Be My Bread

Don’t let worry be my bread today,
But let me, instead, feast on the delights of your love and faithfulness.
Take the care and burdens that weigh me down,
Leaving the lightness and the relief of freedom.
Pull the fires of rejection from my heart
Quenching them with Your tears and compassion for me.

Dismiss the distractions and confusion that fill my brain,
Replacing them with focus and peace no matter what is going on around me.
Take the cursing and the spewing that fill my mouth,
Giving blessing and hallelujah that only come from you.
Remove the discouragement and hopelessness,
Putting courage in me, restoring my soul with hope and sweetness in You.

The Constant Oasis

The Constant Oasis

Do you ever feel burned out? Like you’d just like to pack up and run away from your life? Maybe it’s work, or maybe it’s the kids, the marriage, the bills, the house issues, the health problems, the recovery from trauma. It kind of feels like a little kid running to hide under the covers to protect them from the monsters in the closet—it probably won’t really change anything to run away, but it feels like it might be helpful somehow.

I feel that way sometimes. I want to hide from the parts of my life that feel too hard, too painful, too much work. Hiding doesn’t fix them, but at times it feels like the only way to deal with it all.

The communication from the world is generally—keep going, don’t quit. The communication from the church sometimes is—keep working, don’t let anyone see you are hurting. The communication from our own selves is—keep trying, your worth is tied up in not quitting.

I Lift My Eyes Up

I Lift My Eyes Up

I lift my eyes up, because sometimes it seems all help is gone.
I lift my eyes up in a desperate search for stable ground.
I lift my eyes up, wanting something to be my rock and fortress.
I lift my eyes up, seeking out answers, or explanation or something real.

My help doesn’t come from the mountains, though.
But from the Lord of the mountains Himself.
He is present, active and ready, although it may not feel true.
He is ready to help, and acting already though maybe not in the ways I want.

Recognizing Freedom

Recognizing Freedom

I just got to spend an incredible weekend with a group of women talking about freedom in Christ. I was so excited about what God was teaching me through preparing for the women’s retreat, I wanted to share some of it in a blog post.

Freedom is not something we create, but rather recognize. We are recognizing the freedom Jesus has already provided for us. He has done all the work, and the responsibility for freeing us from sin, shame, rejection, and so many other things is all His. When we accept this gift, we slowly begin to move into the realization of this freedom.

From what are we free? From our past and the negative identity messages that have been ingrained in our minds as we acknowledge the new life given and the Truth that sets us free. From rejection and people-pleasing as we recognize that crazy people don’t get to tell me who I am—only Jesus gets to tell me who I am now. From being a slave to emotion as I realize that emotion isn’t bad, but it should never be in charge and should be led with truth. From the world’s definition of success and failure as I recognize that success to God is knowing Him (Jn 17:3) and dependence on Him for every bit of my daily life. From fear as I recognize perfect love casts out fear and can move into being motivated by love instead of fear. From comparison—seeing people with God’s eyes and loving them rather than trying to feel more superior through comparison. From walking in sin as I realize sin isn’t natural or comfortable for the believer who loves Jesus, but it isn’t a guilt motivation but rather a natural outflow of Christ’s life in us. From filling needs with things of this world, as we realize they are like cotton candy—taste good for a minute but have no nutritional value or sustenance. From religion as we see the rules never helped anyone be free, but the relationship is the beginning of freedom.

Beauty From Ashes

Beauty From Ashes

Walking through the burn scar of a recent forest fire in the mountains of Colorado is an eerie thing. It sort of feels like a ghost town, abandoned and barren. Charred remnants of trees lay blackened and oddly shaped all around. I felt overwhelmed by sadness to see all the once proud trees cut down to just burnt sticks. And then, as He always does, God lifted my hanging head to show me the beauty. Beauty from ashes.

I suddenly saw the fantastic beauty of the flowers, especially the one called fireweed which grows abundantly after a fire. Apparently the fireweed is the first plant to grow after a forest fire burns through. The grass that was popping up through the ash was bright green, and gave a colorful contrast and spoke of hope for a new future. None of the beauty minimized the pain of the fire, but it seemed to give it new meaning—calling it forward to new growth.

I talk to so many people who have had a forest fire in their lives, and some have had a few. They feel like their whole worlds lay blackened and reduced to ash. Sometimes they lit the match that started the fire, and other times it was someone else. Regardless of who started the blaze, they now stand in the middle of what seems like a hopeless burn scar.

Your Hiding Place

Your Hiding Place

When Joshua and the Israelites had conquered the land for seven years, they set up the place of worship to God at Shiloh. It had been a crazy time, watching miracles of waters parted, major enemies defeated by the power of God, and some pretty rough losses as well when they didn’t do things as God had directed. Shiloh means whole, sound, quiet, secure, health or abundance. This sounds like a good place to me, especially to get away and just have time with the God who was leading their nation.

I often want this quiet place to get away, and sometimes I get time for it. But what I fail to realize when I focus on a place is that Jesus is our Shiloh now, and I can go anytime I want as He lives within me. I want the place of worship to be external, and sometimes it is. But no one can take that access from me, even if a church is destroyed, circumstances have limited us, or we feel as though we are imprisoned.

Edith Eger wrote about her time in a concentration camp during World War 2 in her book The Choice. What she credits with getting her through this time of horror was something her mother told her before they were imprisoned: Just remember, no one can take away from you what you've put in your own mind. She kept pushing into the internal because she couldn’t find freedom in the external.

Freedom in Knowing Your Worth

Freedom in Knowing Your Worth

People with whom I work are probably sick of hearing me talk about their identities in Christ. But I find it is such a foundational piece of living that it must be discussed often. We also have been so steeped in lies that the truth of who we are in Christ seems laughable. We go about trying to prove we have value and worth through our productivity, our kindness, or some other circumstance or behavior. But this puts things in the wrong order. We do not love others or achieve success (however that is measured) in order to prove we have value—we must first understand we have value, and then we can behave as one who is loved.

Sometimes we try to use circumstances to prove our worth. We look around at what we have achieved, how productive we are, how we define success and if we have achieved some level of it. This is then supposed to help us understand that we have value. But when we place our value on these things, we end up with two problems. One is that we cannot control a lot of our circumstances, and if we struggle with physical health, financial difficulty, or some other external factor, we can end up deciding we have no worth because we cannot perform in our circumstances as we used to. The other problem is that once we attain whatever level of success we have determined will give us value, there is usually another step to take to keep increasing that value. There is no ending point. If we attain education, power, money or status, there is always another level that we have to keep pushing towards.

The Weed of Fear

The Weed of Fear

I have a vine in my backyard that seems to be a parasite that can’t be stopped . I know I talk a lot about The Vine (Jesus in John 15:5), but this isn’t that kind of vine.

I first found evidence of it coming through the fence from my neighbor’s back yard into mine. I just cut off the branches coming through the fence, and thought I had it sorted. I found more a bit further into the yard, and started to wonder. Finally, some popped up right in the middle of my raised garden bed, meaning it had gone through the weed guard and all the soil and come up right in the middle of my vegetables.

This meant war. I started pulling the vine out, and it kept going. And going. I pulled up the weed guard a little to look underneath, and realized there was an immense system of vines growing all under it like it was a comfortable blanket rather than a method of keeping weeds out. I found it clear across on the other side of the yard, which means this vine system is now growing throughout my entire yard, underneath everything and lying in wait for whatever plant it can take over while I’m not watching.

Now, I realize I make it sound quite menacing, but honestly, this plant is trying to take over! But it got me thinking about the small things we allow to grow under the surface of our lives without checking them at the fence, and as they slowly spread and choke the life out of everything we have tended so carefully, we can wonder how they could have gotten there.

Sacred in the Mundane

Sacred in the Mundane

I need the revelation of the sacred in the mundane, the extraordinary in the everyday and the supernatural in the earthly sameness. I forget so easily, and go about my day with crazy drivers and bickering kids and toilets to clean. Maybe for you it’s the emptiness or sadness or stillness rather than the busy.

From Fear to Freedom

From Fear to Freedom

It is amazing to me to look back over my life and see the hand of God at work all throughout to reveal/ uncover Christ in me. Early in my life, I would fight the tools He would use. I still do, but much less often and with less intensity. It’s in those struggles, the very tools that I used to see as the enemy, that I am now seeing the tender invitation of God to a deeper relationship with Him and a life of freedom.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus