I have been reading a book recently that has made me think deeply about my greatest fears. (It’s Living Fearless by Jamie Winship in case you want to read it. I highly recommend!) Most of the time in the past, I try to push fear away, just telling myself to deny it and move on anyway. I think it’s sort of like when you are a child and you hide under the covers from the monsters in your closet—we believe that will keep us safe from the things we fear. Denial becomes the bed covers, and we keep hiding under it hoping that the fear will go away.
Instead of this, though, Jamie recommends confessing fear to Jesus and letting Him free us from it. I have to be honest, when I first read this, I still really struggled with the idea. I don’t want to talk about my fears. But then I also realized that God already knows my fears, so it’s no surprise or disappointment to Him. I haven’t achieved anything in terms of being free of fear by ignoring or denying them. Instead, I spend a lot of time trying to stomp them down again, hoping they will go away if I just muscle them into submission.
So, I was walking and thinking about this, and I finally took the mental barrier down to really bring my fears out and discuss them with Jesus. And in the spirit of vulnerability opening up vulnerability in others, I’m sharing them with you too.
Sometimes people question my slight obsession with teaching people to differentiate between lies and truth when it comes to identity messages. I am, indeed, very focused on doing this because I believe it makes such a difference in how you live life.
I think most of the identity messages we have received that really derail our lives are the negative ones like being a failure, unworthy, unloved, invisible, or rejected. These identity messages become part of who we really believe we are, most of the time because we are trying to get needs met in people when only God can really meet those basic needs. Some of these needs are love, acceptance, value and worth. When we go to a person or people to try to get satisfaction of these, we end up not getting what we wanted and often getting the opposite instead.
Of course, as humans we tend to go to humans first to try to have someone tell us we are ok, and to tell us who we are. When we get responses that are painful and rejecting, we tend to believe them and try to prove them wrong or fix ourselves so we don’t believe they are really true. Unfortunately, though, people are never going to be able to really give us unconditional love, true acceptance, and a communication of worth like we desire deeply. When we realize this, we can actually go to Jesus to get the truth and change our perspective and our source for life.
Sometimes we treat our imaginations as if they are bad and evil, instead of recognizing they are part of the transformation to a new creation and new Life in Christ the same as every other part of us. I think this leads us to shunning the very creativity and amazingness that God has created us to have, and one of the most useful tools in finding peace.
Imagination as defined by Oxford Languages is “the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses” or “the ability of the mind to be creative or resourceful.”
The focus of our imagination is definitely important, and even with a redeemed imagination we can focus on things that don’t really suit us as new creations. But Isaiah talks below about allowing our imaginations to be consumed by God, which allows us to be surrounded in perfect, absolute peace and trust God.
So, if we want peace and trust, we must allow our imaginations to be focused on Him. Have you ever imagined the compassionate, powerful Jesus sitting in front of you for a chat? Have you ever imagined the Father’s glorious throne to which we are invited to come any time boldly? Have you ever imagined Holy Spirit breathing comfort and counsel deeply into the atmosphere surrounding you so that it infuses you and allows you to sleep?
Many people tell me that they aren’t doing enough for God, which really means they don’t think they are working hard enough to make Him happy. I find this so demoralizing and discouraging, as everyone also has a different standard for what “enough” really looks like. We get weary, burned out and frustrated as the standard seems to keep moving depending on who sets it for us. A lot of religious people would love to set that expectation—maybe it looks like giving money, or helping the less fortunate, or being a pastor or giving your life as a martyr. But I don’t think we get the order right when we make this the priority.
All ministry, I believe, must come FROM relationship with Jesus, not IN ORDER TO get closer to or appease Him. We get the order wrong when we believe we can earn His acceptance, and we end up working for something we already have. Jesus has already brought us in, given us worth and told us we are loved and accepted. We didn’t have to do anything to try to earn that, and when we try to do it after the fact, it leaves us trying to live the Christian life without the power to do so.
God’s standard is how Jesus lived on the earth—everything He did came out of relationship with His Father, and nothing was more important than that Source. When we try to live like Jesus did, we make it impossible by removing the source and believing we can achieve that on our own. Instead, we can continue to live with Jesus and with God’s power being the spring from which all of the work we do begins.
I have many teachers in my life, and I know I will have many more. I’ve had great teachers, terrible ones, and many who were somewhere in between the extremities. I think it’s interesting that some of the most impacting teachers in my life are people that many not even consider themselves teachers. They are those who walk with me, demonstrating through their lives what they are teaching me as they provide safe space for mistakes and new starts. They are not those who criticize, condemn and demand respect.
A friend and I were talking recently about how there are so many things in my walk as a believer in Christ that I don’t understand or don’t know. She was pointing out how grateful she is that we still have a rabbi, a teacher, in Jesus as He walks with us. We don’t have a God who has abandoned us to perform and figure it out on our own, but One who travels each step of the journey with us.
So often I notice that people want to proclaim how much they know, how wise they are. I find myself recognizing how little I know the older I get. I have actually been freed up in that revelation quite a lot, as I don’t have to have all the answers (or pretend I do!) when someone asks me a question. I remember my friend Mike Wells telling me that he had just received the answer to a question he had asked God 25 years before. My first thought was, “It took 25 years to get an answer?!” I was a bit disappointed in that news. But then I realized that meant I didn’t need to have all the answers right now, as God would bring the information I need in the time I need it. That’s a relief!
What is it about hope that allows us to face seemingly impossible situations without turning away? It almost seems an arrogant gall, but it’s really an idea that maybe things will get better, that I will get through this and that things will be better on the other side. But the real definition of hope to me is one that’s tied to Jesus, for hope without a God seems rather shallow.
One of the concepts that my friend and mentor Mike Wells talked about a lot was recognition versus creation. When we are a branch on the Vine, we don’t create fruit—it is a natural outcome of the Life of Vine flowing through us. We don’t have to generate something and figure it out and make it happen.
God’s faithfulness is absolutely astounding to me. Daily I have doubts, worries, screw-ups and yet He stays faithful. I question what He does and how He does it, but He remains steadfast. And not just a put-up-with-you kind of faithful as He remains faithful in His lovingkindness.“Faithful is He who calls you and He also will bring it to pass.” 1 Thess 5:24
Some days waking seems a burden. The weight of a thousand worries meets us as soon as our minds are roused from sleep. The “what-if’s” come hard and fast, leaving us feeling hopeless. What if I lose my job? What if my spouse leaves me? What if my kids don't make it into that school? What if we don't have enough money?
I was reading this morning about when Saul (the guy who liked pulling Christians out of their homes and carting them off to jail) comes face to face with Jesus on the road (Acts 9). He’s headed to do more damage and is very determined to stamp out this crazy faction of Jesus followers. The Christians would have been terrified to see him coming.
You guys, allow me to be really honest here. I hear so many stories throughout my day that are hard and scary and brutal. When it comes to allowing my kids out of the house, all those stories come back to me and it is VERY difficult not to think about them and try to prevent any of these things from happening to my kids.
Well, this is one of those posts that I don’t want to write because it (more than usual) exposes all my flaws and issues and doesn’t make me feel good. But one of the things I’ve learned over these past 10 years in counseling is that raw vulnerability in my own problems is often a way to pulling down walls in others.
I was reading this Psalm this morning and it jumped out at me in my usual rush to accomplish everything on my to-do list:Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Psalm 127:1-2
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.” 1 Peter 4:12-13
When you are in the midst of suffering or the problems the world is facing or even frustration with the mundane details of life, some days can seem dark the minute you wake up. You focus on whatever you are struggling with or all the same things you have to do and it can make the day seem pointless and without hope.
Sometimes it feels like someone is trying to break down everything that makes you who you are and everything you have tried to build. Some days the rejection is so fierce that it feels like an all-consuming fire that you can’t fight. You just want to crawl in a hole and hide, licking your wounds like a hurting animal. What do you do when you are mistreated and rejected?
Often when I am doing discipleship and pastoral counseling, I have people who admit to me that they think something they did in their past has screwed them up beyond God’s love. They married the wrong person, committed the wrong sin, experienced a divorce, didn’t resolve something with a person who has died, waited too long to get married, etc.
There’s a kid who lives in my cul-de-sac who has the loudest car on the planet. And he speeds out of the neighborhood making as much noise as he possibly can in that blasted car. This is usually at about 6 AM when he’s on his way to school. Oh, and sometimes at about 2 AM when he’s hanging out with his friends who have equally loud cars.
