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Hannah Morrell
Faithfulness Even Still

My friends in Haiti are isolated from the world again after the gangs fired on a commercial plane and the airport was closed this week. They were ousted from their homes for over a year while fighting raged around them and they went into hiding. They have shown up for teen and preteen kids who are watching their friends die, and who are still healing from their pasts. I am so blown away by their faithfulness.

I speak to several woman who are raising kids while dealing with debilitating illness and chronic pain in themselves. They show up for their families in the ways they can while desperately surviving their own health journeys. I know they often feel like they are failing, like they can’t do what other moms can do. But I stand in awe of their faithfulness to keep showing up.

Faithfulness Even Still
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Hannah Morrell
The Wilderness

Several years ago, my husband and I were camping in Moab, Utah with our one-year-old son. Camping is probably a generous term—we did have a pop-up camper and weren’t really roughing it. We did, however, drive about half an hour outside of town on a dirt road to the middle of nowhere, and then parked the camper at the top of a rocky hill. The views were spectacular, and we would only see another car on the dirt road about once every few hours. It was a little taste of the wilderness, with only us and our little camper. No cell service, no toilets, and no other people around.

This seemed like a fantastic experience until we decided the next day to head back into town to get a few groceries. After piling in the truck, my husband tried to start the vehicle, but it wouldn’t start. The truck’s battery was dead. And the wilderness experience that seemed like a lot of fun became quite scary.

I started to panic, wondering how we would ever get out of there. No cars came by on the road, and it was at least a day’s walk to get back into town with a one-year-old and only so much food for camping. Finally after a bit of worry, my husband brilliantly figured out that he could use the camper batteries to jump the truck battery, and we were finally moving again.

But what about the figurative wildernesses in which we find ourselves where we can’t figure a way out, and we sit and wait with no resources and no hope? Wildernesses are a real experience in life, and one which often catches us by surprise. I’m not sure why, as so many of the people in the Bible went through years and years of wilderness, sometimes figurative and sometimes quite literal. There are stories of prison, hardships, desert-living, wandering, frustration, hopelessness, disbursement and aching for home.

The Wilderness
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Hannah Morrell
Why I Choose Jesus

I get questions a lot of times about why I love and serve God even when He doesn’t always give me what I want. A lot of people wonder why I continue to pursue relationship with Jesus, and consider it old-fashioned or burdensome. So, I wanted to write a post about why I choose Jesus.

It’s definitely not because of the people who call themselves Christians—although some are a wonderful gift to me and I’m so grateful for them. But the people in the Church are messy just like everyone else, and when we expect them to be perfect or to never hurt or reject us, we will be disappointed. I know, though, that people who believe in Jesus recognize they need something other than themselves to do life. So, as they are dependent on Him, they love people well. When they are relying on their own self-righteousness or rule-following, they end up in a place of religion which is toxic and downright abusive sometimes. The word religion means to bind over and over again. When we bind ourselves up in trying to please God without the power He has given us to do so, we are in a bigger mess than if we deny Him entirely.

I also don’t pursue relationship with God because I was raised to believe Him and brainwashed into doing so. In fact, I have had many reason NOT to pursue relationship with Him over the years, and it would actually be easier for me and make more sense to drop the whole thing! I could make more money, have easier relationships and not experience nearly as much rejection.

Instead, I love Jesus because He loved me first, not when I met His standard or expectation. He reached out to me in love with no strings attached. I don’t have to accept His love, and He experiences rejection more than any other person I know as many refuse Him.

Why I Choose Jesus
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Hannah Morrell
Walking Like a Superhero

There’s a little boy I see every morning when I’m dropping my daughter off at school. He comes to help drop off his older brother, and always shows up in his Superman pajamas complete with cape. The thing that always strikes me as hilarious is how he walks next to his dad. He’s this tiny little man, but walks like he is 10 feet tall—he definitely has the superhero walk down. His cape flows behind him, and he takes large, commanding steps no matter where he is going.

I love watching him and it makes me giggle a little to watch him stride through the parking lot. This morning, though, God spoke and asked me how I would walk if I knew and believed the super power that dwells within me? That caught me off guard. You see, I used to always walk with my eyes on my shoes (which might explain some of my clumsiness). I didn’t feel that I had worth, and I walked like it. I didn’t understand Who I had, or who I was.

You see, when you have Christ’s Life within you, you have the power of the Living God walking around with you. He says He will be everything you need, and we have all of Him to meet all of our problems, dilemmas and circumstances. I think when I realize that I am the chosen dwelling place of God Himself (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that makes me His.

Walking Like a Superhero
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Cry of the Broken-Hearted

We cry out from a broken heart,
Shards lying all around us on the ground.
Our tears pour out—
It feels like they will never end.

The pain explodes from within us,
Our chests feeling like they will break apart.
Lying face down on the ground,
Our desperate plea for help and rescue escaping our lips.

Our Kind Shepherd is here,
Never leaving, never abandoning us in grief.
A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Himself,
He will not turn away.

Cry of the Broken-Hearted

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Simple & Humble

Simple & Humble

So many things over the last few months have felt complicated, stressful and downright scary. I find some humor in the fact that the answers God keeps giving me about each of these situations is very similar—keep it simple. I’m grateful He doesn’t add the “stupid” as some do, but He does remind me repeatedly that trying to figure out a way through these things on my own is only going to bring more headaches.

I don’t generally even pray for a word of the year as some do, but there is always a theme that starts to rise above the rest towards the end of one year into the beginning of the next. I welcome it now, as I realize God is giving me some insight into what He is growing in me. I love that this isn’t a task I’m supposed to complete or a lesson I’m supposed to learn well and check off. Instead, it is what His Life in me is going to achieve and guide me in to as we walk together.

Simplicity, I have noticed, is related to humility. If I feel I must know the way ahead and I can handle it on my own, I end up making things more complicated every time. Humility means that I recognize my lack of ability, and then faith allows me to rely completely on God’s ability within me. Corrie ten Boom said, “It is not my ability, but my response to God’s ability, that counts.”

Satisfaction

Satisfaction

I had been experimenting with intermittent fasting a few years ago when my husband and I went to look at a car I was thinking about buying to replace my old one. As anyone who has bought a used car knows, this process is not known for being quick, and we ended up sitting for hours and hours after test-driving the vehicle and deciding we wanted to purchase it. My choice to not eat for many hours became more and more frustrating, as my stomach growled across the used car dealership while we signed paper after paper.

When we finally left the lot, we drove straight to a Vietnamese pho restaurant that was only a few blocks away. I’m not sure exactly how much time it took me to consume the entire bowl of delicious soup and noodles, but it must have looked hilarious to see me vacuum it up at top speed. The satisfaction of a good meal when you are very hungry is a wonderful feeling.

I am not for one second complaining about my lack of food for the paltry amount of time I was without—I know there are many around the world and in our country that starve on a daily basis, and never know the satisfaction of being full and content after a good meal. I do, however, want to tell you what God has been teaching me about satisfaction recently, and where we go for it.

 

Embracing the Bulb

Embracing the Bulb

I am absolutely a fair-weather gardener. I prefer my time outside to be sunny with a comfortable temperature that doesn’t require my fingers to freeze or my face to hurt. Spring planting, summer tending and fall harvesting all fit into this comfort level most years. One of my favorite days of the year is when we go buy flowers to plant in the early summer, for that’s when you can plant here in Colorado with less chance of random snow or freeze that will kill them.

This year, however, I am doing some things differently. I’m trying to embrace the bulb.

Bulbs are planted in the fall, and often late fall when the weather is not quite as pleasant. Thankfully, our weather has been nice, but the ground is still a bit tougher than it is during the summer. I got my shovel out and started digging many, many holes in the flower beds. As I dug, some things struck me.

I prefer flowers because I can see what they are going to look like. It’s instant gratification, as I can look out at my flower beds and see the beauty right after planting. But with bulbs, you bury them deep in the ground, hoping they will look like you are anticipating when they come up in the spring. Bulbs are probably more similar to the work I do with people, investing time, love and hope in them without any idea what will come of it. I love that God empowers us to do this without knowing the end of the story. How many times has God asked you to reach out in love to someone without knowing the response, or if they will reject or betray you? But the end of the story doesn’t determine if you should love them—Jesus loves the unlovable, the enemy and the betrayers. He can be enough love for us to do this also.

Peace in Trouble

Peace in Trouble

When my friend Mike Wells was alive, he traveled a ridiculous amount of time every year all around the world. He encountered problems with planes, baggage, car travel, reservations and all sorts of other things as he was going to visit people. He used to call this being “Wells’ed” as it meant that unusual problems would be encountered constantly for himself and those who traveled with him. I have adopted this phrase for myself, and now call it being “Morrell’ed”. It’s not something you want to happen to you, let me tell you!

This last weekend we hosted our women’s retreat in Golden, Colorado, and there were plenty of examples of getting “Morrell’ed” as things seem to go wrong at every turn. The hotel messed up the booking entirely, and so didn’t have rooms for any of the ladies upon arrival on Friday (but did have some for Sunday which we did not need). You can imagine how fun it was to get that phone call Friday afternoon, only hours before everyone was supposed to be descending on this hotel, telling me they did not have any rooms. They rebooked us in rooms at a different hotel, and provided shuttles for those who didn’t have cars to go back and forth from the sleeping rooms to the original hotel for the meetings.

Right after we checked into the replacement hotel, my mom called me from her room, saying the bathroom door had fallen off the hinge, missed hitting her by inches, and fell down in front of her door to the hallway, blocking her exit. I ran downstairs to get the hotel employees to come get her out of her room, and thanked God profoundly that the bathroom door had not fallen on my mom and knocked her out.

Power Over Fear

Power Over Fear

I have spoken to many people recently who are dealing with fear, especially as world circumstances get crazy again. I, for one, often get stuck living in my own little peaceful bubble until that bubble gets popped by one thing or another. Then, it’s very easy for fear to take over. I remember when COVID started, standing in the middle of a grocery aisle trying to get air through a mask while I looked at empty shelf after empty shelf. The fear of not having enough was suffocating. These days, I can watch the news and have the same fear rise up in me, watching as people are murdered, tortured, raped, bombed. I ache with sadness for the loss, and run through all the worst-case scenarios of what is next.

I realized during COVID that I have no idea how to prepare for things, and it better be up to my kind Father to prepare me. Who would have thought that people would have been fighting for toilet paper? We often believe, though, that fear somehow prepares us for the unknown. Yet, it actually does nothing to make us ready.

God obviously knows we will struggle with fear, as He addresses it over and over throughout the Bible. Fear can be the most strangling distraction, as we obsess on so many things of which we can be afraid.

God's Promises

God's Promises

Do you ever have days where you feel like everything gets really heavy and hard? You might go from feeling like you are totally in step with Jesus and taking on the world, and suddenly you slam into a wall of your inadequacy, your unbelief or your questions. It happened so quickly you have whiplash as you try to steady yourself but can’t seem to find balance.

I was feeling that way last weekend. I felt all the pressures of preparing to share with women at the upcoming retreat, the uncertainty of book publishing, the frustration of not knowing how to help some of the people I was talking to in counseling. It all just compounded into a big, dark cloud that swallowed me up.

Monday morning (after wallowing most of the weekend in all the yuck), I was driving back from dropping my daughter at school. In front of me was a giant wall of dark grey clouds threatening rain and storms to come. And suddenly, I saw the most brilliant rainbow cutting right through the blackest part of the cloud. This rainbow extended from the top of the mountain I could see all the way up through the storm clouds in colors that laughed at the darkness.

Strength in Weakness

Strength in Weakness

I had a dream this week that has stayed with me as a comfort and encouragement. In the dream, I was a little girl standing in a giant cave with lots of people milling around. To get out of the cave, I had to climb a steep dirt slope, and I was exhausted. I flopped down on the ground, giving up any chance of ascending. A big, burly man walked up behind me, and lifted me up into his arms gently. After adjusting my weight a little, he started to climb the path out of the cave. Upon reaching the top of the slope, he gently laid me down on the ground. I didn’t even have the energy to acknowledge my gratitude for his help, but simply rolled over to go to sleep right in the middle of the dirt. My favorite part of the dream was that the man chuckled softly, tickled that I would just go right to sleep there.

As I have thought more about this, I keep getting more and more insight into what God tells us in His being our strength in weakness. We don’t have to know how to ask for help, or even be able to. God knows we need help before we do sometimes! Some of the very things that seem like they will be the end of us are an incredibly great portal for His strength to be displayed in us. We don’t need to be afraid of those weaknesses or hide them. Instead, we glorify our kind Father as He lifts us up through them.

Perseverance

Perseverance

I’m sitting at my son’s football practice watching another kid on his team, and marveling at his perseverance. He is slow. He runs a lap behind everyone else. He barely lifts his feet to run. But he doesn’t quit. He puts one foot in front of the other, and keeps going.

This kid amazes me, as he doesn’t let being the last one get him down, but just keeps going. I wonder what he tells himself as he runs. I feel like I need to ask because I probably need the same pep-talk sometimes.

Perseverance is hard. I want to quit and just sit down. Especially when I’m the slowest, last, or feel most left out. Sometimes it feels like everyone else gets the break, gets the credit, gets picked for something important. Or everyone else gets the relationship they want, the peaceful circumstance, or the honor of being the first or the best.

Even as I write this, I’m struggling with a recent disappointment of discovering a grant for the ministry went to someone else, and will not be helpful in supporting Broken & Hopeful this year. The hard stuff can all add up sometimes, and we feel like we might as well quit.  

In Christ

In Christ

In Christ, I am safe and protected.

In Christ, I am loved completely without pretense or meeting a standard.

In Christ, I have worth bestowed on me through sacrifice.

In Christ, I am a new creation.

In Christ, I am not controlled by sin or evil.

In Christ, I have power to live the impossible Christian life.

In Christ, I am complete and whole, lacking in nothing.

In Christ, I have all my needs met, physical, emotional and spiritual.

Owning Others' Emotions

Owning Others' Emotions

A common theme in counseling these days is learning to not take responsibility for other’s emotions. I think we often believe that we are actually supposed to try to keep everyone around us happy, and that we are failing if we don’t. We blame their anger, sadness or disappointment on ourselves, thinking that if we had just gotten it right they wouldn’t be feeling this way. I know I struggle with this myself.

My friend Mike Wells used to say that no one makes you feel anything—you choose it. I didn’t like that statement at all, as I tended to blame my emotions on others quite readily. You can’t play the victim if you can’t blame your feelings on someone! Another way of saying it is that you can’t always control your circumstances, but you do have ownership and choice in how you react to them. I would say that this is only possible through life in Jesus, as it is fruit of the Spirit to have self-control. I pray for His fruit to be seen in me as I react to things that frustrate or annoy me, not allowing my initial reaction to be one of anger or lashing out.

Set Free to Walk in Freedom

Set Free to Walk in Freedom

Once a slave to sin and death,
Now free to walk as a loved child of God!

Once a leper, rejected and broken,
Now made whole, complete and accepted!

Once a dirty rag, tossed to one side,
Now a beloved Bride, unstained and untouched.

Once cowering and fearful, waiting for death,
Now a conqueror walking in faith.

Once a performer, desperate to meet a standard,
Now already accepted, with no need to perform.

Once invisible and unheard, no attention given,
Now He inclines His ear to hear and see me.

Once a blind person, seeking through darkness
Now sight restored and made new in the Light of the world.

Once a dead person walking, no way to save myself,
Now filled with resurrection life!

Strength in Rest

Strength in Rest

Rest is almost a foreign concept in our culture these days. We are so busy, and fill our lives constantly with productivity, hoping that the busyness will make us feel strong, superior or like we are at least doing life in a way that makes others think we have some value. I think sometimes we are trying to prove ourselves worthy of our own lives. We run at such a pace that we don’t have to stop and think, fostering true relationship or accepting the peace that rest brings.

Rest has almost become equated with laziness. I think often of how in Luke 10, Jesus spoke to Martha when Mary was sitting at His feet, and I wonder how anything practical was supposed to get done with people just sitting around! I would have had the same exasperation as Martha, and have had it in moments of stressful preparation. Jesus wasn’t criticizing Martha’s practical bent, I think, but rather saying that work must come from a source of rest, intimacy and relationship.

Sometimes I believe I have a handle on all that I need to get done in a day, and I’m stressed immediately with anything I see as an interruption in this schedule I see as necessary to get so much accomplished. I think God might purposefully send me interruptions on these days in order to remind me that productivity is not its own source. I must have something that provides strength, wisdom and direction, or I’m just spinning my wheels to accomplish what I have put on my list.

Birds and Worries

Birds and Worries

I was walking my dog the other day through our neighborhood park, allowing him to run around and sniff every blade of grass for evidence of other animals. My eyes were on my feet, which is a common occurrence so that I don’t trip as often! My mind, however, was consumed with all the negative news of the day, and the personal struggles that were presenting themselves for obsession. I thought about inflation, about personal finances, about ministry finances, about my kids, about the mess that some schools are these days, about health problems in family and friends, about so much of the pain in the world. I was in deep.

Suddenly, I perceived God’s voice cutting through all the rest of it—Look up! I, thankfully, paid attention to what God was telling me, and glanced above me in the sky overhead. Hundreds of swallows danced and dove over me, catching bugs and enjoying the freedom of flight. They didn’t seem concerned about the state of the world as they made beautiful aerobatic maneuvers, performing what looked like a beautiful, chaotic dance of revelry and joy.

My thoughts went immediately to this verse:

What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by any amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow he has made. How then could he forget or abandon you? What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world. Luke 12:6-7

What My Kids Teach Me

What My Kids Teach Me

I learn from my kids almost every day. I’m not saying they are perfect, or never do anything that requires correction. But they also teach me. I don’t say this in arrogance, but I don’t think I expected to learn this much from my kids. I figured I’d be doing all the teaching, I suppose.

I watch them show up in bravery in ways I never would have imagined as a kid their ages. They face pain, discomfort, embarrassment and fear each day in their sports. My daughter stood on a pitcher’s mound yesterday and pitched two innings of the first game of the softball season, knowing it was going to be harder with this year’s rules and a tough first opponent. All eyes on her, she breathed through her fear and struck them out twice. It wasn’t perfect. It was better than perfect—it was brave.

My son walked onto a basketball court a couple of weeks ago and faced a three-person team of kids who were all at least a foot taller than him, and looked like grown men. He didn’t back down, but worked with his teammates to figure a way around the giants by shooting baskets from the outside and passing frequently. He didn’t quit or run away, and handled the loss like a champ. His perseverance showed in the next game where he came away scoring all but two of the points in the game. Even against incredible odds, he was all-in, continuing to forge ahead and figure out what to do next.

Both of them have faced being in different schools this year, and the loneliness that has brought on some days. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t always get along, but they at least knew they had a buddy somewhere in the school when they were at the same elementary school and would encourage each other in the hallways when they walked by. This year, my son took on middle school, which isn’t a scenario I would like to repeat in my own life. Walking into middle school feels like a totally different world than the elementary school, and he had to learn where all his classes were, how to keep up grades on his own and how to maneuver through the social weirdness that is that age. He has developed friendships, stayed away from the drama and didn’t allow the rejections that happened to deter him from continuing to engage with people.

Yielding Over Performance

Yielding Over Performance

C.S. Lewis said that Christians are the best and worst examples of Christianity, and I find that to be true so often in the way we portray God. On one hand, we claim that He died for us because of our inability to save ourselves. On the other hand, we claim that we are to do more in order to please Him because then we might deserve His love. This leads to disillusionment and discouragement, as we try to do something that we’ve never been able to do. It is a case of getting the order wrong, as living the Christian life is only possible when empowered by Jesus within us. When we put behavior before relationship and heart, we move into an impossible place that is driven by religion and trying to please God without any power.

On a recent talk, Brian Simmons said that the Christian life has never started with doing, but rather with yielding. Think about the terminology—abide, be still, rest, surrender, come to Me. Nothing in the Christian life begins with effort, but rather a stopping of effort and recognizing Jesus as the One who lives in us. Commands become promises as we realize they are only possible by His Life living through us. Good works are a result of living on the Vine, and allowing the source of Christ’s Life to produce them through you.

Joy, Prayer and Thanksgiving When You Don't Feel Like Any of It

Joy, Prayer and Thanksgiving When You Don't Feel Like Any of It

I was being a whiny baby yesterday. Do you ever have those days where you feel like you just complain and moan about everything, and you don’t even want to be around yourself? That was my attitude. It was unpleasant to say the least.

In the middle of my funk, I remembered something I’ve heard many times—there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. That thought did not help my mood, as I wanted to throw a complete tantrum stating there wasn’t anything to be thankful for in this day.

But God.

In His quiet, shepherding way, Jesus reminded me of a verse in 1 Thessalonians, one which I’ve used to beat myself up in the past in an attempt to bust out of the whining and complaining. But this time I heard it differently.

My Hiding Place of Hope

My Hiding Place of Hope

Often in my life, I want to find hope in a variety of external changes. Maybe it’s financial security, good relationships, success or self-reliance. I can be tempted to believe that hope lies in achieving these things. I can work myself to death trying to be in control of my life, but I am becoming more and more convinced that hope can’t be found in any of these.

I can look around the world and see instances of all kinds of trouble, suffering, insecurity. I can look in my own life and see the same. So, if my hope lies in getting rid of the trouble, I am not doing very well at getting to hope.

If, however, my hope is God Himself, then I don’t need to worry about changing my circumstances in order to find hope. This is the concept that I call “rising above” the situation at hand and acknowledging God’s presence regardless of the seeming impossibility of the problem. This is not a denial, but rather an acknowledgment of both the problem and the God who owns the problem. I believe it is recognizing my abiding in the Vine, and accessing all that this abiding gives me.

The Poison of Religion

The Poison of Religion

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said that a book needed to be written about the injustices and crimes committed by those who claimed to know God, so that we could show the differences between those whose hearts are actually God’s, and those who claim any sort of power that will allow them to abuse and manipulate. I am not planning to write that book, but I have been thinking a lot about the poison of religion when it claims to know God or speak for Him while doing the opposite of His character. 

It is interesting how often Jesus criticizes the religious hierarchy in His teaching in the Gospels. He calls them out for beating people down with rules and laws while breaking them, or not acting in love toward any of their people. He sees the hypocrisy of their behavior as they postured greatness but really acted as criminals in religious clothing.

This story has been repeated throughout the ages since Jesus, but they have taken on His name and claimed His message of salvation. They go without grace, without love and without real Life to offer anyone. They hurt, destroy, abuse, kill, manipulate, and break people as they go. People who equate God’s name or message with these individuals or organizations are, understandably, horrified, and want nothing to do with God the rest of their lives because of the pain they have caused.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus